Imaginary
by Athese
Summary: Mikey had rarely taken fights seriously, and his brothers had no idea why. They only knew it would cause them trouble one day, and they were right. Trying to correct his mistake, Mikey is sucked into a portal and finds himself completely lost in the sewers, alone. He doesn't know when or where he is, until he stumbles across a familiar stranger with a purple bandana.
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys, I got a new story! :D Just wanting to say that the first chapter may seem a little weird, but that'll be explained in the next chapter, for now, enjoy! ^^

TMNT

 _This time… this time they didn't have to pay._ That was the only thing I could think off before I was sucked into the portal, the fearful expressions of my brothers being the last thing I saw. Pink enclosed me, flashes of purple and white mixing through the bright pink color. I remembered it, I've seen it before but as I was sucked in more and more, my mind went blank. I couldn't remember anything, everything was a blur.

It seemed like my brain was banging against the side of my skill, pain spreading through my body. Not the kind of pain when you get stabbed, or when you break a bone. No, the kind of pain you get when being electrocuted, that combined with exhaustion. My body felt numb, pain spreading through my body as I was lunged through the portal.

I tried to reach out, anything for me to hold on but my body refused to move a single bit. And if I could move, there was nothing to hold on for. There was nothing that stuck out, nothing solid. I couldn't grab anything. I shut my eyes as the speed increased and my stomach was starting to protest. There was no way back now.

 _This time… this time they didn't have to pay._

"Take that Kraang!"

Laughter escaped my throat as I watched the Kraang droid fly though the air. Chaos was all around us. The Kraang's orb, that had been silent now for weeks, had been activated again. Those freaky robots were up to something again, and of course Leo thought we had to investigate it again. Not like I was complaining, I was literally dying of boredom in the lair, there was just nothing to do! At least over here we could kick some Kraang butt.

"Mikey watch it!"

I whipped my head around at the sudden shout directed towards me. I immediately recognized Raph's grumpy voice. When my eyes finally landed on his I saw what the commotion was all about, the Kraang I had just sent flying had landed right next to him. Man if looks could kill, I'd be dead already.

"Sorry bro!" I half shouted, half laughed. I quickly converted my nun chuck into my kusarigama, wrapping the chain part around another Kraang droid and swinging it at a whole other bunch of Kraang. I grinned when the footbots cracked due to the impact, the Kraang creatures hastily crawling away from their bodies with squeaking noises.

"LEO!"

My body suddenly tensed, hearing the terrified voice of my immediate older brother. Donnie was staring wide eyed at a few Kraang who were working on something in the middle of the Kraang facility. It slowly started to light up, purple light encircling it. It looked… almost like a portal. The same one they used to bring other creatures from dimension X into our world.

"I got this D" I shouted towards my older brother, throwing my chain once again. It wrapped around the Kraang standing in front of the panel and I yanked it back, earning a loud squeal from the Kraang inside of the robot body. I laughed loudly as I swung it around, eventually releasing the Kraang, slamming it into the door, and before I knew what was happening a Kraang was pointed his gun at me. I let out a short scream and jumped out of the way, the laser darting past me and almost scraping the side of my plastron.

A witty comment was on top of my tongue right now but a loud bang behind me made me rethink. My eyes widened as I whipped my head around, the control panel now sparkling and within seconds I knew what has happened. The shot that was meant for me had hit the control panel. And to my horror the portal slowly charged and a purple void opened itself.

"MIKEY!"

I cringed slightly at the chorus of shouts but before someone could add more insults I could feel a force tucking at my body. My eyes widened even more when I knew what was going on, the portal was sucking us in! A loud yell came from my older brother and when I looked back I could see that Leo had his swords imbedded in the ground and holding Raph as the force slowly starting to increase.

Donnie, always being the smart one had used his grappling hook, wrapping it around himself. But Leo and Raph didn't have their grappling hook. A lump formed as I remember whose fault that was, _mine._ I did have my grappling hook, so without a second thought I threw it towards Raph, who caught it without needed a word.

"Use it Raph, or you'll be sucked inside!" I screamed when Raph casted his eyes towards me instead of helping himself.

"No way, ya need it as well!" Raph yelled back but didn't complain as Leo guided him backwards towards a large pole. I gritted my teeth slightly, wrapping my arm around a pole as well as the force continued to increase.

"I have my kusarigama chain dude!" I retorted but I had no intention of using it, no, this was all my fault and I would fix this. The Kraang didn't seem to be bothered by the huge force and it would only be a matter of time before they advanced on us, and with us being helpless there was no way we would win. With a glare I tucked one nun chuck in my belt and grapping the kusarigama chain.

With perfect accuracy I threw my nun chuck, imbedding the blade into the machine, giving it a firm tuck I released my arm that was holding me in place and ignoring the shouts of protest coming from my bros. I had to do this, even if it meant risking my own life. This was my fault after all. I hastily put the nun chuck in my belt again, holding onto the machine with my hands.

"The one known as Michelangelo may not damage the machine known as experiment K2.3 that was made by the ones known as Kraang" Came the immediate static voice and I panicky ducked when a laser beam shot past my head. Pain filled my body as the machine started tucking harder and before I knew what was happening my left arm got sucked into the portal. I cried out softly as numbness spread over my arm but I held on with my other limb.

The force was so strong that I couldn't even pull my arm back again, and with a sigh I knew there was no other way. Using all my power I wrapped my leg around the machine and dug into my belt for an explosive I secretly carried with me, despite the lecture Donnie gave me not to carry it. Taking a deep breath I let go, throwing the explosives onto the machine. A loud bang and my brothers crying out my name was the last thing I heard.

The portal closed itself but I was already inside, getting sucked away further and further. I was surrounded by pink, the images of my brothers fresh in my mind. When a final thought crosses my mind, before everything went black.

 _This time… this time they didn't have to pay._

TMNT

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the horrible smell, a smell I knew a little too well. My beak wrinkled in disgust and I slowly opened my eyes, seeing that I really was laying in the sewers. But the weird thing was that I didn't even recognize these sewers, they were different, they weren't the sewers I knew. Either I was in another part of New York or…. I was sent to a whole other country.

I groaned slightly as I carefully sat up straight. My whole form was stiff and sore, like I just got through hours of training with Master Splinter. Immediately my face dropped… Master Splinter, my bros… they must be worrying. Either way, I was. I didn't know where I was, maybe even when I was and I had no idea if my bros were okay. Maybe I had caused a huge explosion, killing them in the progress.

Maybe they couldn't free themselves soon enough and the Kraang had captured them, killed them. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, my arms trembling beneath me. No, I couldn't think like that, they were okay, I just had to get home. Problem was, where was home? Slowly I placed one foot on the ground, hauling myself up and using the wall to support myself.

Quickly checking myself over I came to the conclusion I didn't have any injuries, apart from the sore feeling. Both my nun chucks were still in my belt, along with the other things I always carried with me. I pulled out my t-phone but the moment I tried to start it, it exploded, smoke coming from the phone. I let out a surprised shriek as the heat touched my hand and I dropped it in surprise.

It didn't really hurt, it just surprised me for a second. I groaned slightly, seeing my t-phone breaking apart as it hit the ground, great, my only communication device, the only way to contact home was broken beyond repair. _No way to contact my bros right now_ I stated dryly as I stared at the phone. I sighed slightly, kicking the phone to the corner of the sewer before leaving it behind, walking down the sewers to find a manhole cover.

A smile spread on my face when I found one and I immediately started to climb upwards, pushing the lid up and carefully climbing onto the surface. My smile however faded the moment I left the sewers as I didn't recognize anything. Everything was different. Swallowing down a lump I grabbed the nearest fire escape and used it to get to the rooftops.

I didn't even know what I was trying to find, but whatever it was, I didn't find it. I was met with something I didn't know, something I'd never seen and yet it was familiar. Though no matter how hard I thought about it, I could never figure out what was so familiar about this city. Testing my luck, I slowly shuffled towards the edge of the building, peeking over the edge.

I was met with equally strange looking humans, walking down the streets. Several stores were in this street. A red-haired woman walking into a shop called 'Second time around'. A young boy walking through the streets with his hands in his pockets, a cat crossing the street with a loud screech. Where am I?!

Eventually I decided it was too dangerous to be standing up here, the sun still shining brightly, so I jumped down into the alley again. I honestly didn't want to but eventually I lifted the lid of the manhole cover again and carefully climbed down, putting the lid in the rightful place. I simply let myself drop and looked through the tunnel with uncertainty.

I knew I probably had to move, but I couldn't muster the energy to do so. I had no idea which sewer I was in, or where I was. But I knew it had to be an American country because I could hear people speaking English, or I was in another American/English speaking country. But for now, there was nothing I could do. I should probably head out to find shelter, or some food but I had no energy left.

I sighed again and slid down the wall, pulling my knees up to my chest and placing my chin on top of them. I felt lost, honestly lost. Even the sewers weren't familiar anymore, and I didn't even know if my bros were alright. My phone was dead, and I had no idea where I was.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when a sudden figure stood in front of me. I let out a muffled yell and jumped up, grabbing a single nun chuck. The figure in front of me made no move to attack me however. With cautious movements I lowered my nun chuck, taking in the figure in front of me. He was partly in the shadows, but even from here I could see the outline of a shell, a mask on top of his face.

 _A turtle._

Slowly the turtle walked towards me but I was frozen in place. The turtle was taller than I was, way taller. And he was different. His eyes were completely white, and he had different wrappings than me and my bros had. there was a long purple bandana on his face, but the gap between his teeth wasn't there anymore. There were multiple scars on his body, and I swiftly looked up to his face, staring into the face of my older brother Donnie, who wasn't Donnie at the same time.

He was different, and if it wasn't for the bo-staff and the purple bandana, it would've been a normal mutant turtle that wasn't similar to me and my bros. Slowly the unfamiliar turtle leaned towards me, looking at me with a weird expression I couldn't quite place before opening his mouth.

"Do you want to be my friend?"

TMNT

So that was the first chapter/prologue. What do you guys think? Any ideas where Mikey is? (There is a small hint somewhere in the chapter)


	2. Chapter 2

**Judging from the reviews, it was pretty obvious where Mikey has been transported to xD Either way, here's the new chapter!**

 **TMNT**

 _Slowly the unfamiliar turtle leaned towards me, looking at me with a weird expression I couldn't quite place before opening his mouth._

 _"Do you want to be my friend?"_

My throat went dry and I swallowed painfully at the statement, staring at the mutant turtle in front of me with horror and disbelief. He had numerous scars on his body, huge ones. One scar ran from his shoulder all the over his bicep, twisting and disappearing towards the back of his arm where I couldn't see it anymore.

There was a huge gash on his plastron but it hadn't actually reached the tender skin beneath our plastrons, if they had the same build-up. There were two large gashes running diagonally over his right leg and countless other little cuts, too many to count. His eyes were completely white, staring into my eyes with a desperate gesture.

And before I could utter a single word the turtle shot forwards, jabbing pressure points in my arms.

My arms fell to the side and I cried out a little when my wrist was painfully squeezed. My eyes widened, looking at the purple banded turtle. Unlike the expression that was present on his face just seconds ago, his eyes were now narrowed with a terrifying expression, sending a shiver down my spine. His wrist twisted slightly, yanking me along.

"Wait.. what are you doing?!" I cried out, trying to stop the turtle from taking me along with him. He didn't even budge, my struggling was in vain and he had no trouble dragging me along. My feet couldn't get a solid grip on the ground and no matter how much I tried, I couldn't even slow him down a little bit, I wasn't strong enough.

"You'll be my friend forever." He stated in a light voice, still not looking back at me.

And without warning the ground beneath my feet disappeared. A loud yell escapes my mouth as I roughly land on my shell, sliding down some kind of slide. I harshly skip to a halt, painfully scraping my arm and shell against the stone floor. Tears jumped in my eyes as the hand wrapped around my wrist once again, yanking me upwards before I even had the chance to get up myself.

I was a ninja and I shouldn't be crying, I knew that. But I was at this turtle's mercy right now, he was stronger than I was. I had never been the strongest of my family, I always relied on my speed but once Raph caught me, I immediately lost because he was just that strong. This turtle however, was a whole other story. His muscles were huge, and his whole body was filled with muscle.

And the fact that he had no problem dragging me across the sewer floor only emphasized how strong he actually was.

I squinted my eyes slightly as a bright light was slowly nearing us, filling the mostly dark tunnel, and only then did I notice the trembling arms of the turtle. They were shaking but it wasn't from the strain, he still had no problem dragging me along, no, his shoulders were shaking as well and he had gritted his teeth. His eyes were filled with pain, confusing me. But what confused me the most was the single tear now slowly streaming down his face.

"He brought a child dammit"

A rough voice suddenly filled the tunnel, making me cringe even more. There were more, I wasn't even sure if it was a turtle but the fact that they were with more already freaked me out, turtle or not. I never thought I'd need my brothers this badly. Not even when I was captured by Bradford a year ago, not even when TC knocked my shell loose, or when Karai mutated a few weeks back. No, this time I absolutely needed them, needed them to rescue me and save my butt once again.

I didn't want to be alone.

"C'mere Don" The same rough voice spoke and suddenly I felt another hand grabbing my wrist, yanking me towards another figure and turning me around in the process. My shell collided with something hard, and yet it was a bit flexible. I couldn't help the scream that left my throat as a sword was placed against my throat, digging into the skin slightly and I could feel a tiny bit of blood slipping down my throat.

This was it… one second he would slit my throat.

"Wait Leo, it ain't a human!" Once again it was the rough voice who spoke up. Carefully I opened my eyes, when did I close them? My eyes widened slightly. It was another turtle, and he wore a red bandana, like Raph but obviously it wasn't him. He was a bit taller than the Donnie look-a-like, extremely muscled and he had the same scars on his body.

His plastron was the worst, numerous scars all over the yellow plastron. But the thing that stood out the most was his left eye. It was stitched shut, and I didn't need to be a genius to figure out what happened to him, or at least to his eye. There could only be one reason for stitched, or the only logical reason I could think of was losing an eye.

"R-Raph.. I-I did … I d-did it again.." The purple turtle suddenly hiccupped and much to my surprise I could see tears streaming down his face, he was on his knees and his hands over his head. I would've never believed it if someone would tell me this was the same one who dragged me along just minutes ago.

Just mere seconds ago he was dragging me along, squeezing my wrist to the point it was painful. And how much I couldn't believe it, I couldn't deny that this was the same terrifying turtle, the one that was now sobbing uncontrollably.

"Take Donnie out of here." The man, or turtle, behind me spoke up, interrupting the constant sobbing of the turtle that looked like Donnie. I was shaking on my feet, the sword still pressed tightly against my throat. He was going to do it, he was going to… to kill me. Strangely enough the one holding me lifted the sword from my throat, spinning me around 90 degrees and tilting up my head.

I could feel cold fingers prodding at my throat but I was too afraid to move. I gasped slightly, squeezing the tears from my eyes but it never cleared my blurred vision as new tears immediately appeared again. They were huge, almost matching Splinter's height, but way more muscular, and yet the fingers were tender as he prodded my slightly bleeding neck. I didn't even feel any pain, adrenaline coursing through my blood.

"I won't hurt you, don't worry." He eventually said, reaching for my wrist. But unlike the other turtle, this grip was gentle and there was option for struggle. I moved my arm slightly, already getting some feeling back in my limbs but I still didn't struggle. What other choice did I have? Run away to be on my own again? He could've killed me already if he wanted to.

I blinked, forcing back the tears and looked at him, not really surprised to see he was a giant turtle as well.

The turtle was wearing a blue mask, just like Leo, but yet again it wasn't my older brother. I could see scars on the back of his limbs, his arms, his calves and even his shell. As the turtle led me somewhere else I allowed myself to look around the room. We were underground, I figured so much.

It was a pretty large round space. There were two floors. Downstairs there were 4 rooms, either with open doors or closed doors. The upper floor could be seen from this floor, there was only a small space all around the second floor, leading to 5 other rooms. There were pillars leading up to the upper floor, and on the left there was one staircase.

In the middle of this floor there was some kind of pool, with a bridge on top of it. The 'pool' situated in the middle of a large space. The blue turtle led me towards a stack of TV's all put on top of each other. A couch was placed in front of it, and two chairs on either side, parallel to the TV's. He reached for something under the couch and pulled it out, revealing a first aid kit.

Still a bit hesitant, I sat down on one of the chairs, trying to ignore the tremors that were making their way up my shell. This whole place was creepy. It felt empty, and unwelcome. But I never fled, why? I just didn't want to be alone again. And if they'd wanted to kill me, they would've done it already.

"Spill it, who are you?"

The blue turtle suddenly said as he opened the first aid kit, but unlike the sentence, there wasn't any anger in his voice. More likely it was concern. And for a split-second I couldn't say anything. Other than the blue mask and the katana's on his back I couldn't find a single similarity to my Leo. And yet I knew this was him, something still felt familiar about him. Raph.. Don.. Leo..

It only took me a few seconds to find my voice again.

"I'm Mikey.. Michelangelo" I said, staring at the turtle in front of me with curiosity and horror. This was the first time he was actually turned towards me, and I was turned towards him. His face was scarred, badly. There were two long and deep scars. One going all the way from the upper-right of his head, towards his mouth and crossing his left eye. The other one crossing the first scar just above his eye.

And just like the other two, he had horrible scars on his body.

"Alternate universe?" The blue turtle muttered softly, more to himself than to me. "You're from another dimension aren't you?" He clarified as he noticed my sound of confusion. He never looked at me however, and slowly tied a bandage around my neck after cleaning it.

"I-I don't know.. where am I anyways, and who are you guys. What happened back there?" I asked, the words leaving my mouth before I can stop myself. But to my surprise the blue turtle actually chuckled slightly, flickering his eyes towards me, and only then I noticed why he wasn't looking at all. His eyes were painfully dull.

I swallowed down a lump and stared into the eyes that were now focused on me, eyes that couldn't see at the same time. I took a slow breath and slowly extended my arm towards his eyes, waving my arm slightly to see if my presumptions were correct, but not having the courage to ask him about it.

"I can see you, you know that right?"

His voice cut through the silence like a sharp knife and with a yelp I withdrew my hand.

"I'm sorry!" I immediately gasped, my face heating up. I hadn't meant to do something like that. It was just that I knew how blind people looked, most of the times their eyes were dull and lifeless, like his were but somehow he seemed to be able to navigate perfectly through the lair, and do everything. Almost like he wasn't even blind.

"Don't worry, many made that mistake. I can still see, but more like very clear shadows and vague colors." He explains to me, making me squint my eyes again. And upon further looking I could still see that there was vaguely some blue left in his eyes, and his pupils were actually changing when I neared him. I knew he knew that I was looking, but luckily he decided to ignore it.

"Answering your previous question, you're in New York, and I don't think I need to introduce me and my brothers anymore. As for Donnie, that's a… well a long story" The turtle, Leo apparently, explained and casts his head to the side. A long story, the most cliché excuse not to tell anything but by the way his eyes change to sadness, even if he tries to hide it, I decide not to press it.

Even if I desperately want to know what happened back there. Why Donnie, the turtle who would never get violent or physical unless there was a serious fight or someone seriously ticked him off, would drag me along like that. I wanted to know why, how they got their scars, but the sadness made me rethink. It could be a long story, but there was obviously another reason.

"I don't want to.. well y'know offend you but you have Don, and I assume that was Raph and you're Leo… well … where's me?" I ask in a soft voice, not daring to look at Leo after asking the question. He could be dead for all I know, he could've died in a battle, relating to the things that happened to their injuries but Leo sighs instead, sitting down on another chair.

"He's alive if you're wondering, but he isn't Mikey anymore. You'll see in a minute." He says in a clear voice, pushing all emotions aside before looking into the rest of the lair. "Guys, family meeting, NOW!" He yells through the lair, his voice filled with full-blown authority. Something that is entirely new to me. Of course Leo is our leader but not like this.

Of course he gives us commands, and orders us to do something but he's still a part of the team, he's still our brother. This Leo however, right now he's definitely the leader, and nothing more and nothing less. All kindness had vanished from his voice, and his gaze was stern and filled with remorse.

The reaction is immediate, the second the sentence leaves Leo's mouth, I can hear two pair of footsteps coming up behind me, but I can only focus on the footsteps that are right above me. I know Raph and Don were in the kitchen, so that only left….

Suddenly there's a loud thud behind me, something has landed behind me.

"Leo what the f-" Another rough voice grumbles, but stops when dull blue eyes meet mine. I'm frozen, literally frozen as I look at the turtle in front of me, orange mask on top of his face but it covers his whole scalp. There are metal plates on his knees, and on his right shoulder. So many cuts and scars linger his body, and as twisted as it sounds, I'm used to it. The other three had them as well.

But what they didn't have was a missing limb.

His whole left arm, cut off just above the elbow and ending in a metal cap. There is nothing in his eyes, just sadness, anger, hate, there's not even a hint of laughter or happiness. Leo was completely right, this wasn't Mikey, this wasn't me.

"Sit down Michelangelo, all of you" Leo only states, not even budging slightly at the harsh comment of the turtle that was supposedly me. It couldn't be me, it just couldn't be. The scars and the missing limb was bad enough already, but the thing that scared me the most was the expression in his eyes. Michelangelo narrowed his eyes, glaring at me with venom in his orbs but eventually sat down next to Leo.

I really didn't know where to look. A feeling I wasn't familiar with. I had never been shy in any kind of way, but right now I had the strong feeling I wasn't welcome, not a single bit. I glanced to the side as Raph and Don walked past me, Raph having his arm around Don who was walking almost tiredly. They both sat down on the couch, Donnie's eyes bloodshot and gazing at his lap.

"Guys, this is Michelangelo, or Mikey. From what I gathered, he's from another dimension" Leo suddenly spoke up, still the same authority in his voice. I gazed up for a second, looking around a bit but quickly looking down again when I noticed Michelangelo was glaring at me.

"Shocker" Michelangelo muttered harshly before fixing his gaze on me. "Tell me, which version are you. The useless one?" He snapped, causing me to cringe slightly at the comment. Useless… that's exactly what my brothers always called me when I messed up things again, when I tried to make them laugh again.

It was true, and these weren't even my brothers.

"Michelangelo, don't" Leo said in a soft but insistent tone causing Michelangelo to look towards Leo instead, glaring at his older brother, if their rank was still the same in this universe. Even if we were all quadruplets, and we didn't know who hatched first, we still had the oldest and the youngest sibling. Me being the youngest, then Don, then Raph and Leo was the oldest.

The silence was seriously unbearable, the tension too present. Michelangelo and Leo kept staring at each other, one with pure hatred and the other with a softer gaze. Eventually it was Leo who tore his eyes from Michelangelo's, looking over to me.

"Sorry about that Mikey" He apologized but I shrugged slightly, not really trusting my voice right now. "Anyways, can you tell us how you ended up here? The more we know, the sooner we can help you" He continued, flashing me a weak smile. The comment actually surprised me, sure I had been thinking about going back to my family before, but after the turtle, Donnie, arrived and turtle-napped me my mind hasn't really been in the right place.

And I never thought they would help me. Sure they are my brothers from another dimension or something but they are different. They are older, I can see it. And they don't have the same playful and maybe childish behavior. Leo, even if he's the leader, goofs off a lot. He's pretty much addicted to Space heroes, and despite what people may think, he does prank us from time to time.

Point is, we aren't all that serious and we're still teenagers. These guys however… it's like all happiness is ripped away from them, vanished. I didn't think they were bad guys, not by a long shot but I was surprised how determined Leo actually was.

"Well.. Don, I mean our Don, found out that Kraang's orb had been activated again, which means that they were up to something again so we came to find out what the Kraang were trying to make or do" I started after a few hesitant seconds.

"The Kraang?"

This time it was Raph who spoke up, looking at me with a confused expression. His arm was still draped over Don's shoulder, who had stopped crying right now. His eyes were still a bit red and you could see the remaining of his tears on his mask. But other than that, he seemed perfectly normal. Even if his eyes didn't contain joy or anything along those lines, he was the one who was the closest to any of my brother.

Leo was practically the leader, nothing more or less. Raph was… he was still the sarcastic one, but he was way too kind. Not like I was complaining if Raph would be more open to his emotions but it just wasn't Raph. And me, I didn't even want to begin. I would've never believed it if Leo wouldn't have told me. That turtle, that wasn't me, it couldn't be me.

"The Kraang are these aliens from Dimension X. They're actually little pink brain thingies but here on earth they hide in the chest of a robot to disguise themselves or something." I clarify, trying to explain it as simple as possible.

"And they are the bad guys? I mean they sound awfully lot like the utroms, but they aren't evil in any way. But in your universe they are?" It surprised me actually that it was Donnie speaking up right now, and how kind his voice actually sounded. It wasn't the same voice Donnie had but somehow it felt strangely comfortable.

"They are, they invaded earth once to take over our world but we stopped them in time." I said, deliberately leaving out how we almost lost Leo that day. "Uhm.. when we arrived at the Kraang's base we saw them working on some kind of portal, we didn't know what is was really but they detected us before Donnie could figure out what is was. We were soon surrounded by dozens of Kraang." I continued my story, closing my eyes as I recalled those few moments.

How I was still back on earth, my earth. And I was still together with my bros. Who would've known I would be in an entirely other dimension in just an hour? And I would be sitting here with four other turtles, me and my bros from this dimension. For a split-second I opened my eyes again, secretly hoping it was all a strange dream or I hit my head during the fight or something, but as expected I was still staring at an almost-blind Leonardo.

"I was goofing off, as usual, and one Kraang got past my defense. Its laser hit the machine controlling the portal and it was activated. Within seconds it started sucking us inwards so I did what I could do to save my bros. Leo and Raph had both lost their grappling hook so I threw mine to them, telling I'd use my chain to tie me to something solid but I didn't. I destroyed the machine but got sucked inwards in the process." I end the story with a soft sigh.

A short silence spread around the room, until it was interrupted by a loud snort, a chair roughly sliding backwards.

"I knew you were the screw-up version" Michelangelo snorted, not even batching an eye at the falling chair behind him. "I don't want to see him again ya hear me?" He growled, turning his attention towards Leo before walking away without an answer, not like it was a question in the first place. He reached out for his belt, pulling out the single nun chuck and walking into another room, slamming it shut with a loud bang.

Leo sighed, staring at the slammed-shut door before slowly turning his head towards me again.

"Don't get offended Mikey.. things happened in the past.." Leo interrupted trying to offer me another smile but I could see it wasn't a real one, not even close. "I suppose you're hungry, it's pretty late after all" He added quickly, trying to get around the topic of the other Mikey. Honestly, I was too tired to care right now.

I wasn't really hungry but I was dying to do something, or go somewhere else. I just couldn't stand the tension, so instead of saying I wasn't really hungry, I nodded. Leo shook his head slightly and stood up, motioning for me to follow me. I waited for a few seconds but eventually followed him.

Though before I could even walk past the couch, a hand wrapped around my now bruised wrist.

I stiffened a hiss as I saw who's hand was now wrapped around my wrist. Unlike me and my bros, these turtles really did have other skin colors. And I was actually surprised I could remember them so easily already, I immediately knew this was Don. And I knew, just by looking at his eyes he regretted whatever he did to me, not that it gave me explanation what actually happened back there.

"I'm sorry" Don whispered, releasing my wrist reluctantly. I was left with a huge lump in my throat as I stared at his eyes. Full of self-regret and pity. He was sorry, he didn't even need to tell me, I already knew he was sorry. I could tell by that look in his eyes. Ever since we were children I had always been able to detect something like that, better than any of my bros.

I guess that's the reason I became the screw-up I was today.

"It's okay" I whispered, my voice cracking slightly before walking away quickly. I didn't know the feeling, the feeling of not being welcome, the feeling of being a stranger, I just knew I wanted to get away from it as soon as possible. I belonged here, these were mutant turtles just like me, these were my bros, and yet they weren't and I didn't belong here.

This wasn't my home, these weren't my brothers no matter how much I wanted someone familiar to be with me right now. These weren't my bros, this wasn't my home and I certainly wasn't welcome here, no matter how hard they tried to cover it up. I could see there was something that upset them, yet again I was screwing up, even in another dimension.

Shaking my head slightly I followed Leo over to the kitchen, examining the room as I entered. It was quite big, unlike our little kitchen and yet it didn't have the same feeling to it. Yes, we did have a small kitchen but it was cozy, and it felt like a home. This however… this was just one big space with stuff that they needed to survive. It didn't feel like home, it didn't feel like my home.

But then again, this wasn't my home.

"You're stuck with me as cook today, so I'm afraid it won't be anything fancy" Leo said, doing a horrible job at making jokes. I was too tired anyways to say I could cook as well, or pretend to laugh at the joke, laugh like I'd always do. I just wanted to go home right now, I needed to go home right now. But instead of whining about it, I just kept my mouth shut. That wouldn't help me at all.

A long, but surprisingly comfortable, silence spread across the room. The only sound was Leo making some kind of sandwich for me. I would've snickered if it weren't for the scars on his face, and the whole messed up situation. Even in this dimension, Leo was still a horrible cook. But only looking at him made me remember what had happened to them.

Not like I knew what had happened, but I could see the aftermath, the missing limb, the missing eye. Donnie…well… I still wasn't sure what happened to him, or why he seemed normal just minutes ago. Unconsciously I rubbed my now slightly bruising wrist before turning towards Leo again, wincing as I was once again confronted by his almost-blindness. He wasn't even looking at what he was doing.

"Leo?" I eventually interrupted the silence, looking over to Leo with a curious expression. Instead of really answering my question, Leo merely hummed slightly, not even turning around. But then again, why would he need to turn around? He was practically blind, it wouldn't make a difference if he'd be turned towards me.

"I… I don't even know if I want to know this but….uhm… where's Master Splinter?" I hesitantly ask, rubbing my wrist at the same time. I didn't even know why I asked the question, because something told me I already knew the answer, but yet again I was denying the harsh truth, like I'd always done.

"You're too naïve Michelangelo, you've always been" Leo states with a normal and calm voice. "He died in a battle 4 years ago." He added with the same calm voice, now finally turning around and looking in my direction. There was grief, his dull blue eyes filled with the loss of his father, or sensei, but just by his reaction I could see.. that they got over it… they moved on without him.

And yet, asking it brought back things that weren't meant to be brought back. He didn't cry, didn't even shed a tear but I could see it. _I could feel it_.

"I'm sorry for asking Leo" I quietly say, not really knowing what to say. Even if this Master Splinter wasn't my father, or actual family, I could still feel a weird stabbing pain in my heart, just knowing that their father, my father, had died some years ago. Leo shakes his head however and slides a plate towards me, leaning against the counter slightly.

"Don't be, I'm just glad you didn't ask Mik… Michelangelo" Leo replies with his arms crossed in front of his scarred plastron. "I'm going to prepare the guest room" He eventually adds, walking out of the kitchen with quick steps and leaving me all alone. I sigh slightly, unconsciously poking at the sandwich beneath me.

I wasn't really hungry, especially after Leo had left. I just shouldn't have asked that question. Even if he wasn't showing it, I could see I asked something that I shouldn't have asked. Of course the death of their father would be hard, even after such a long time. Slowly I took a hesitant bite, forcing myself to swallow it.

The sandwich wasn't bad in any way, it was just the flipping stomach that was stopping me from really enjoying the food. Maybe it was just getting too much. We've dealt with so much already, things that normal people would never do, aliens, talking turtles, mutants, the list is endless. But finding out you're transported to another dimension, where your family is disfigured, scarred and lost all their hope is just too much too soon.

Master Splinter is dead, Donnie forcefully dragged me towards their lair. And by the reactions of Leo and Raph it looked like it wasn't the first time. Raph had lost his eye, Leo was almost blind. And me, I wasn't myself anymore. I had lost an arm, I lost my happiness. I wasn't laughing anymore.

And the whole family was falling apart.

TMNT

 **Hmmmm… not entirely happy with this chapter.. Anyways, I hope you still liked it! Any guesses what is going on, and what happened to this Mikey?**


	3. Chapter 3

Honestly, I've only been here for a few hours, but it already felt like an eternity. This whole place… no matter how hard I tried, it just wasn't home. We've been at April's home countless times, and every time I felt welcome, I felt at home. Even the time when she was in a terrible mood, or she was mad at one of us. I never felt like I wasn't welcome.

This 'home' however, even after the food Leo had given me, even after Leo wrapped my neck and even after the apology from Donnie, I still didn't feel at home. Heck, it didn't even feel _like_ a home, it was just one big empty space filled with sadness. Our lair wasn't the best home either, living in the sewers, barely any sunlight, but to me it felt like home.

I could be exaggerating, and these other turtles thought this was the perfect home, but I doubted it. It was just so obvious that something was missing. Either their laughter, or the presence of their dad, Master Splinter. And maybe this was just the aftermath of a battle gone wrong, the aftermath of all the scars they carry on their body, the missing limb, the sewn eye, the bad sight.

And whatever what was happening to Donnie.

A low breath escaped my mouth as I shuffled through the lair. Eventually I ended up at the bridge part, and still I didn't see anyone. Leo was preparing the guest room for me, but I didn't know where Raph or Don were. Not to mention my dimensional counterpart. Even if it was me… I was still terrified of the prospect of seeing him. So why did I want to see him?

Curiosity.

That was the only word I could come up with. Curiosity. Since I was a little turtle tot I was curious, and I never grew out of it. I'm always curious, I hate being left in the dark. Right now, I wanted nothing more than to know what happened to them, how Raph lost his eye, how Leo lost most of his eyesight, how Don became the way he was now, and how Michelangelo lost his arm.

Countless other questions were stacking up as well, apart from their obvious injuries. The death of Master Splinter, how such wounds could cause them to lose their hope, and for Michelangelo to become so angry. Why wasn't he smiling anymore? Why wasn't he hiding anything? Why was he showing his sadness?

Another sigh leaves my mouth, banging my head against the railing of the bridge. My feet were currently swinging just above the surprisingly clean water, my legs pushed through the space between the pillars holding the railing up. Why did I have to be sent here? Why me? I huffed slightly, I already knew that question, because I messed up back then, I wasn't paying attention and that's how the Kraang managed to fire his gun, causing the portal to open.

Right now I regretted my decision to sacrifice myself. I never wanted my bros to be sucked into the portal as well, but I really wished for them to be here right now. Donnie would go all scientist-y and find a way back home, Leo would be the leader as usual and would make up a plan or something. Raph… he would be kicking ass, and neither of them would be sitting here, tears burning in their eyes and mindlessly swinging their legs back and forth.

Like I was doing right now..

Suddenly a loud crash caught my attention. A frown appeared on my face and I slowly got to my feet, looking into the direction of the crash. It was coming from the right, on the opposite of the kitchen. The shōji was partly closed, but the sound was clearly audible through it. I knew it was probably foolish to check it out, and I would regret going.

Though I still walked over to the room.

Cautiously I walked closer to the room, making absolutely no sound to alert whoever was in the room. I leaned my shell against the wall, carefully peeking inside the room. It was a dojo, something I was way too familiar with. There were numerous weapon racks in the back of the dojo, pushed far back to create more room, and just like all the other rooms, this one was huge as well.

There were several practice dummies, some totally mangled while others were still new, barely having a scratch on them. In the middle of the room was Michelangelo, his right arm was holding a nun chuck, the other still in his belt. But considering the fact that he only had one arm, he could only use one chuck at the time.

And unlike my expectations, his handicap didn't seem to bother him at all. He moved so fast, barely touching the ground before he jumped away again, flipping and twisting with so much agility that I was sure he'd break his shell by doing them. The veins in his arm were bulging, and sweat was dripping down his whole form, but it didn't seem to slow him down.

In fact, it seemed like he was increasing his attacks with every passing seconds. He jumped again, twisting mid-air and snapping his nun chucks with a simple flick of the wrist, one handle of the chuck landing on the dummy. The dummy gave a protesting crack and it split in half, one end falling to the side. It didn't slow him down, and he only continued his training, moving, jumping and twisting in impossible directions.

"How long has he been doin' that?" A low and harsh voice, I immediately recognized as this Raph, suddenly entered my ears. I jumped up a little, looking at him with startled eyes. I didn't even sense him walking towards the dojo! I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down slightly. My heart was still beating violently in my chest, and I needed a few seconds to calm my breathing.

Eventually my heartbeat calmed down a beat, opening my mouth to answer Raph's question.

"I don't know, I just got here" I answered him, shrugging slightly as I got my heart to a manageable level. "Is he always this… well determined?" I eventually ask, looking at Michelangelo again. He was still flipping and twisting through the air, continuously slamming his chucks into random dummies or the ground.

"3 damn times a day, ever since _that_ day. Guy doesn't know when ta stop." Raph grumbles, folding his arms over each other. His comment caused me to frown a bit. _That day._ What did he mean with that? Like was that the day they lost Master Splinter? I was too afraid to ask to be honest, but seeing the look on his face, which was not angry for once, I dared to open my mouth.

"What do you mean with _'that day'_? Is that when.. y'know" I asked, lifting my left arm slightly to get across the message, for some reason I couldn't get myself to say the actual sentence. It had only been a few hours, I still wasn't used to everything, all the wounds, the scars and definitely not their handicaps.

Not to mention I was talking to Raph right now, not my Raph but another Raph. The guy who lost his eye to something I probably didn't know about, _and he probably doesn't want to talk about._ I added miserably when I saw how Raph's face fell, a strange look of sadness and regret appearing on his normally angry face.

"Forget I said anything squirt. Ya don't needa know. And ya wouldn't even understand" He huffed, turning his head towards the other Michelangelo. Or rather taking his eyes off of me, avoiding me so he wouldn't have to answer the question.

"Then make me understand Raph… I get if you don't want to tell me.. but I really want to know.." I say, biting my lip slightly at the sentence. I didn't want to push myself, these were their problems, not mine, but at the same time I wanted to know what these problems were. I wanted to understand why they were this way.

"Something happened that day _Mikey_ , that's all ya need ta know. Ya better jus' drop it for yer own good" He replied, absolutely refusing to give any answers. And yet I still wanted to push him, I wanted the answers. I did, right? I wanted these answers right? I didn't even matter, because before I could even consider if I should push the subject, the shōji fully opened, revealing an angry Michelangelo.

"Can you two just shut the fuck up?" He snapped harshly, pushing Raph away with a firm push and walking past the both of us, leaving the room before either of us could say anything. Raph had his arms folded over each other, glaring at the disappearing Michelangelo. Then after a few seconds he turned to me, shaking his head shortly before pushing himself off the wall, walking away as well.

"Don't mention it again Michelangelo" He said in a harsh tone, for the first time really calling me by my full name. And just like 15 minutes ago, I was left alone gain. I could feel tears burning in my eyes again and I sat down, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. My chin was placed on top of my knees and I just stared..

..There wasn't much I could do anyways.

TMNT

I shouldn't be really surprised by the room, but I still was. I could feel Leo standing behind me and I actually had to hide the tremors that were making their way up my shell. The room itself was still poorly lit while bright light was shining from the open space of the lair. The large shadow of Leonardo almost taking up all the light in the room.

The room wasn't much, but it was big, just so immensely big. Our rooms weren't really big, but it felt like a room. Countless nights we've spent with each other, when either of us wasn't able to sleep, or when there was a thunderstorm, we would always bunk together. It had always been a safe haven for all of us, either when we wanted to be alone, or not. I always felt safe, huddled in between my big brothers, or just be alone for a few hours in my _own_ room.

This room didn't have the same feeling, it felt empty. I can't lie, there were moments I'd wish for a bigger room, but now I was perfectly fine with my own room. The only thing that really filled the emptiness was a bed, a bookshelf stacked with books and even some comics, some extra pillows stacked in the corner and some boxes.

"It isn't much, but it's been a long time since anyone has been here. April used to stay here overnight from time to time but these last three years she hasn't anymore.." Leo told me, the now familiar sadness filling his voice.

"Thanks Leo… really.." I whisper, turning around to give him a thumbs up. The name almost seems unfamiliar to me, weird to say it. I was calling him Leo, because that's how he was called, but my whole life I'd called my oldest brother the same thing, Leo, Leonardo. And right now I was calling this Leo, Leo as well. It felt weird, because even though this was Leo's counterpart, this wasn't the Leo I knew.

"No problem, just get some sleep. You must be tired."

That was the last thing I heard from him before the shadow left the room, leaving me alone. I sighed slightly, staring at the now closed door, trapping me into the guest room. That's how it felt least, trapped. Trapped with these turtles who were exactly like my bros back at home. Turtles who experienced something terrible, and I had no idea what it was.

Turtles who, despite the fact that they obviously wanted to help, didn't want me to be here. I could see it, especially my other self, it wasn't a secret that he didn't want me to be here. And the question was, why didn't he want me here? I get that they maybe don't want their home to be inhabited by another turtle, but Leo, Raph and Donnie weren't having a lot of problems with my presence.

Then again, I hadn't seen Donnie since I left him 2 hours ago. And Leo was basically the only one who really talked to me, if you didn't consider the little talk I had with Raph. But Michelangelo… he was glaring at me whenever he saw me. He wasn't even ignoring me, he was just silent, too silent. He was only glaring at me with a murderous look on his face, like he wanted to kill me.

And to be honest, I truly believed that he could do it.

Again I let out a soft sigh, casting my eyes towards the clock hanging on the wall. I was pretty surprised actually that it was already past bedtime. It sure didn't feel like much time had passed. It was just past dinner when we headed out to the Kraang, it wasn't even fully dark yet. Normally we didn't go out when it wasn't dark yet, but figuring the Kraang was up to something, we left home before it fully turned dark.

.. _home_ …

Again the image of my family filled my mind, how were they doing back at home? Were they worried about me, was Donnie already trying to get me? Did they even know where I was? … _Just hurry up guys, I want to go home._

Deciding I couldn't do much besides waiting for my bros to rescue me, I tiredly walked over to the bed. The bed was surprisingly soft and a grin spread amongst my face, crawling into the bed with a content sigh. I folded the blanket all around me, wrapping myself up like a cocoon and curling up to make myself as small as possible.

I used to do this a lot of times back home, whenever I was hurt, sick or upset I would curl myself up and wrap myself up so only my head was visible. And right now, I just felt like doing it, it brought me the little comfort I needed to help me fall asleep. And before I knew what was happening, my eyelids dropped and I fell asleep.

TMNT

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was the cold feeling against now un-bandaged throat. Even before I had opened my eyes I knew what was prodding against my throat. The first thing I saw when my eyes snapped open in fear were the dull blue eyes, glaring at me with such hatred. The single arm that was still attached to Michelangelo's body holding a knife close to my throat.

"I swear, if ya scream or alert the others, I'll drag you out of the lair and make sure your death will be as painful as I can make it" He hissed, pressing the blade closer to my throat. His whole body was sitting on my plastron, making it incredibly difficult to take in enough oxygen. I could feel pins and needles all over my body and for some reason I couldn't move my limbs.

Michelangelo had both knees on either side of my waist, keeping me rooted on this very spot. I couldn't even wiggle a little bit to get myself free. I was at his mercy, I wouldn't be able to do anything, and by the looks of it… he didn't really like me.

"What did y-you do to my limbs?" I whisper, not daring to speak normally. I wanted to alert them, I really wanted to. I didn't fully trust them yet, but I knew they would've killed me long ago if they wanted to kill me. They would come for me if they'd heard me scream.. right? A slow grin spread on Michelangelo's face, leaning forwards a bit more.

"Pressure points to keep you from moving, don't worry, they'll wear off in an hour or so." He answered, continuing to glare at me.

"Why? I haven't done anything to you" I whisper, stubbornly looking into the dull looking eyes of my supposed counterpart. Michelangelo pushed himself off of me with a soft push, but still keeping the knife against my throat, a huff of laughter escaping his mouth.

"Not yet, and I advise you not to do anything. Because if you hurt me or my bros.. " He threatened, suddenly turning dead serious again. The hint of laughter suddenly vanishing into thin air.

"Why would I hurt you, or your brothers? You are like family in a way.." I say, my voice rising slightly. Michelangelo doesn't seem very impressed and just presses the blade tighter against my throat, my breath hitching at the restricting feeling.

"I loved them as well filth! And look at them!" He hissed, bringing his face closer again but never lifting the blade. My eyes widened slightly, fear overwhelming me. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream, and my counterpart had a nice pressed against my throat. There was so much hatred in his eyes, glaring at me like he was trying to kill me with his glare.

And suddenly there was another emotion in his eyes, it was faint, but I could see it. _Sadness._ It only lasted a split-second before he 'snapped out of it', the angry glare returning again.

"Let this be a warning _Mikey_ , If you hurt them, even the slightest bit, I will make you wish you were never born, understood? You'll never see your pathetic family ever again"

And before I could even respond, the tightness on my chest vanished, the faint sound of a door being closed ringing through the room. I was left alone, still unable to move or do anything other than watch the ceiling above me getting blurted by the endless tears that were now streaming down my cheeks. I lay awake for hours, not being able to move, and eventually falling into a troubled sleep again.


	4. Chapter 4

Noises were all around me, voices, movements, sounds I didn't recognize. I groaned slightly, prying my eyes open and looking around to see what was going on. I certainly wasn't expecting myself to be in an unfamiliar room, hearing unfamiliar voices below me. My eyes widened slightly, scrambling towards the door, almost tripping in the process before desperately searching for a switch.

But before the light was even on, realization dawned down on me.

The Kraang accident, me being sucked into the portal and ending up with other turtles, who were apparently our counterparts. A low gasp escapes my mouth, images flying through my head as a lightning bolt. All the memories from yesterday suddenly freshly imprinted in my brain.

 _I want to go home_. Was the first sentence that filled my brain, slowly sliding down the wall until I was sitting down with my shell against the hard wall. Fresh tears bubbled up in my eyes, desperately trying to push away the faces of my bros, my real bros. Not these version, not the ones that were filled with scars, not the ones that threatened to kill me

 _I want to go home_.

"Hey Mikey, you awake? We heard noises" Someone suddenly askes, knocking on the door a few times. It took me a few seconds to actually recognize the voice as Leo, a name I didn't actually want to give him. I stifle a sob that is threatening to get past my lips, quickly wiping away my tears. Hide it, like I've always done. They don't need to know, they have enough problems already.

"I'm awake, just lemme get my mask" I hurriedly said, ignoring the pins and needles that were capturing my legs as I stood up. I hadn't even bothered to take off my gear, but my mask had apparently fallen off while I was asleep, another reminder why Splinter always taught us to take them off while we slept. I quickly tied the bandana around my face, already feeling a bit better with the familiar fabric around my head, and walked to the door.

"Good morning." Leo said ones I emerged from my room.

"Morning Leo." I said with a smile, trying to ignore the numerous scars that were still littering his body.

"Sorry to wake you, but we thought you might me hungry." He continued, jumping down to the base floor with ease. Without actually questing it I followed him. It was still very weird, but I wasn't really surprised actually, this was a house of ninjas after all, not to mention a sewer. It actually makes me realize how lucky we were to get such a nice place in the _sewer._

"That's okay, I wasn't sleeping anymore." I answered him as we walked into the kitchen. I stopped for a second, surprised to see Don and Raph sitting around the table. "We're having a….family breakfast?" The words sounded unfamiliar, rolling off my tongue like that.

Sure it wasn't something we did every single day, but most of the time we ate together, that wasn't the cause of my confusion, it was just that I hadn't expected them to eat like a.. well a family.

"Those scars don't mean that we ain't a family anymore" Raph said, glancing at Donnie as he said so, the latter deliberately ignoring the other.

"Sorry, I didn't want to offend you guys.. it's just.." I said, struggling to find the right words. Next to me Leo shook his head with a slightly amused smile, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Don't worry about it Mikey, we know what you mean. Just sit down for now. Training will be in 10 minutes" Leo said kindly, leading me to an empty seat, one of the four seats I might add. Leo took the last seat. Breakfast wasn't much, but it was enough for my growling stomach for now, and I quickly ate all of it, preparing myself for training.

TMNT

During breakfast I had briefly wondered where Mikey was.. the other Mikey that is, but once I entered the dojo I found that that question was actually quite obvious, and I wasn't even surprised to see my counterpart, Michelangelo, already doing some basic kata's. I was however surprised by the way he moved, even if I had seen him yesterday.

His movements were just so fast, even if he obviously wasn't giving everything he had.

"Ohayou" Leo said as he entered the dojo as well. The reaction was immediate. Michelangelo stopped his kata mid-way and straightened up.

"Ohayou Gozaimasu" He grumbled back, but unlike Leo's _good morning_ , his wasn't sincere. And it quite surprised me that he responded this way. Ohayou was an informal way to greet someone, while Ohayou Gozaimasu was a way to great someone who was above you, like a teacher. Sure Leo was _our_ leader, but we never acknowledged him like that.

He was still our brother, we were still a family.

"You know Japanese don't know Mikey?" Leo suddenly asked as we all sat down in a row, me keeping as much distance between the others as I could without causing any suspicion. Raph was next to me, then Donnie, and on the other side was Michelangelo.

"I do, we were raised Japanese. But once dad began to teach us ninjutsu, he taught us English as well since we were in New York" I explained, ignoring the glances I was getting from Raph and Donnie. Leo nodded his head slightly, glancing at his brothers.

"Good" He said, not really pressing the issue. "Okay Mikey.. since you are here right now, I want you to spar one of us, to see how well your ninjutsu is" He told me, welcoming me to stand up. I reluctantly stood up, walking towards the middle of the dojo. I really didn't want to fight any of them. In the end it was Raphael who stood up, standing in front of me.

I gulped, casting my glance towards Leo.

"Uhm Leo, are you sure? You guys are older.. and probably better and…." I stuttered, shutting my mouth when Leo held up his hand, an unreadable expression on his face. I could feel myself shaking slightly as I reached for my nun chucks. Raph did the same, reaching for his sais and drawing them. I could see Don, Leo and Michelangelo watching us from the sideline, But I tried to ignore those stares as I bowed.

"Onegai shimasu" We both said before actually starting the match.

Not even a second after we both ended our sentence Raph shot forwards, going straight for me, just like my Raph would do. I barely had time to duck away, and I could feel Raph's sai barely missing my arm. I squeaked slightly and rolled away, getting up again within a split-second. Raph wasn't allowing me to regain my posture however, immediately running towards me again.

I quickly dodged his attack again, now finally getting a chance to spin my nun chucks.

"Is that all you got?" I laughed, a smile forming on my face. Even though he was way taller and muscular than my Raph, it was still Raph. And he acted exactly the same, but obviously holding back.

"Not by a long shot kid" Raph responded with a rough voice, barely a hint of laughter present in his voice. He twirled his sais and charged towards me again, this time I charged in as well, ducking under his legs, and smiling inwards for me being so small here, and dealing a hard blow to his shell. Raph growled in response, turning around within a second and stabbing with his sai, effectively trapping the point of his weapon in the space between the chain.

"Gotcha squirt" He huffed with a short laughter, ripping the nun chuck from my grip. My arm jerked forwards due to the force and Raph took advantage of that by reaching for my wrist and flipping me over his shell. I landed harshly on my shell, and before I could get up again, I felt something heavy on top of my plastron, the figure soon identified as Raph.

Despite the fact that I had lost, a huge grin spread on my face, after all I often didn't intend to win. And by the look on Raph's face, my plan had worked. A pleased look was present on his face, as well as a grin.

"Yer quite fast" He said, getting off of me and holding out a hand, helping me to stand up. Apart from the faint ache in my wrist and my beating heart, I wasn't off that bad, which actually only proved how skilled they were. He had managed to get the upper-hand so fast, even if he obviously wasn't fighting serious at the beginning, that is until I managed to hit his shell, then he managed to kick my ass in a few seconds.

But before I could say anything in return I suddenly lost contact with Raph's hand, and before I knew what was happening, a strong force connects with my jaw.

I hardly register falling onto the ground, the only thing that fills my mind now is the instinct to run, _to fight._

"YAME!" Leo's voice bellowed through the dojo, but my ears were still ringing loudly from the blow that I couldn't really focus on his voice.

"Damare daitan futekina rīdā" Michelangelo growled back. Honestly if I weren't being attacked right now, I would've laughed. Even in this world Leo had the same nickname 'fearless leader'. I would've laughed if it wasn't for the nun chuck going straight for my face. I let out a yell before I could stop myself and rolled out of the way, wincing inwards as a loud crack sounded through the dojo, the wood splintering in tiny pieces.

 _Where my head had been just seconds ago_.

"You think this is a fucking joke?!" Michelangelo yelled, anger and venom dripping from his voice, swinging his chuck at me again. It was so fast, and before I could even blink I felt the chuck barely scraping my plastron, not hurting me but making me realize that I was in serious trouble right now. While nun chucks were hard to master, and didn't look very deadly, they were, and they could easily crack the hard shell _or_ plastron that was protecting me and my bros.

Michelangelo gave me absolutely **no** time to react, no time to regain myself and sent a powerful kick, hitting my arm, **hard**. I cried out in surprised pain and fell to the ground, barely managing to roll out of the way and avoid having a tanto imbedded in my skin. I experienced that once, and I certainly do not wish to experience it again, thank you very much.

But Michelangelo wasn't really agreeing with my statement, continuously stabbing the floor, and me barely rolling away in time. I didn't even want to know how the dojo was looking right now, not like I had any time to check it out.

A growl came, and again I wanted to roll away but found myself unable to do so. My eyes widened, quickly rolling backwards again, seeing the tanto imbedded in my wrist guard, making it impossible to roll away. There was slight stinging pain in my wrist but that wasn't my biggest problem.

"What, yer not laughing anymore?!" Michelangelo sneered above me, stepping on top of my hand before I could pull the tanto out. I bit back a scream, watching him with fearful eyes. "I warned ya idiot, this isn't a fucking game. You better not hurt them, and that includes not interrupting our training with those fucking smiles of yours"

With that he lifted his foot and hit my stomach, hard. I choked on a sob and curled into a fetus position, wrapping my free arm around my stomach, whimpering slightly.

"Mikey! Are you alright?" A concerned voice suddenly yelled, pulling at my arm, wanting to uncurl me but I harshly shook my head, trying to hold back the tears that wanted to escape my eyes.

"Mikey, please, let Don take a look. We need to see if you're injured" Leo inquired, a little calmer than his previous sentence. An extra hand was placed on my arm, softly tugging at it, wanting me to uncurl. The tanto was taken out of my wrist guard and with a soft whimper I rolled onto my shell, looking up with teary eyes.

Not because of the pain, but because of the want, _the need,_ to go home.

 _Home._

"How's he Don?" Raph asked, keeping his distance slightly.

"The kick was hard, maybe even hard enough to bother him for a while. I just don't know how his plastron differ from ours, but he didn't break or bruise anything." Don said, picking up my hand up instead, completing shutting out the outside world. I frowned slightly at his behavior, I saw how he acted yesterday, and yet he was acting so differently..

Like my Don would. Calm and kind.

"Your hand isn't broken, but the cut needs a few stitches unfortunately. Can you walk to the infirmary?" He asks me, releasing my hand and standing up himself. I nod to him, not really feeling like talking and clumsily getting to my feet, feeling a slightly throbbing pain in my cheek, hand and stomach, but I also knew that it wasn't that bad, and I considered myself lucky by the force into the attacks.

I sheepishly followed Don as he walked out of the dojo, holding my injured arm to protect it. There was some blood from the cut in my arm but it wasn't that bad, Don probably wanted to stitch it up to avoid a large scar. _Something they haven't been able to prevent_.

I expected to see a large lab like we had but instead Don led me, and Leo and Raph, to some kind of subway car. It was cut out in many places, acting like some sort of door, and the windows were taken out. Chemicals and different science-y stuff, that I had no knowledge of, were all around the subway car, and in the corner was a table filled with medical stuff.

I quietly sat down on the table, still shaking a bit from the fear and ignoring the looks Leo and Raph were giving me, only watching how Don was pulling out a large kid and opening it next to me. I was already squirming slightly at the prospect of having a needle pierce my skin. I never liked it, and I will never will. I hated how the thread was pulled through, it made my skin crawl. The trembling in my fingers and my whole body died down a bit, didn't mean my heart wasn't still racing.

"Here, press this against your cheek, it'll help against the swelling" Leo suddenly said, handing me an icepack. _Seriously, when did he grab that?_ I winced slightly as the cold pack was pressed against my cheek, the area burning slightly from the hit but relaxed after a moment.

"Your arm only needs two stitches okay?" Don stated as he readied the thread and needle after cleaning my arm. It definitely wasn't a deep cut, it wasn't even hurting anymore. Though to be honest, I hadn't really felt anything with the adrenaline cursing through my blood, too busy to avoid getting killed by my own counterpart.

I nodded quickly as I noticed Don was still waiting for an answer.

Donnie immediately set to work, grabbing my arm and piercing the skin for the first stitch. Raph and Leo were cautiously watching, but I could only focus on Donnie, watching him as he worked on my arm. How could someone change so quickly? How weren't the others freaked out by Donnie's behavior? Not to mention how Leo was fully prepared to kill me less than 24 hours ago.

"Y'know, if you're still mad about what happened, please just say it. Just don't ignore me" Don whispered in a calm tone as he pierced my skin for the second stitch, and I could swear I saw a flash of hurt in his eyes when he said that.

"Dude, I'm not mad.." I say, keeping my voice low but Don interrupts me before I can continue.

"I see how you look at me Mikey, and I understand. I can see what I've done to you" Don retorted, gesturing to my wrist. The bruising wasn't bad, barely visible anymore, and I hadn't thought about it since I woke up, or much at all for that matter but that didn't take away the fact that it did happen.

"Look Don.. I'm not mad, turtle honor. I'm just.. I just want to know.. y'know ..what happened' I said lowly. "But I get that you might not want to talk about it dudes! I mean, who am I to ask something like that?" I chuckled forcefully, addressing all three of them, _the four of them_. I definitely didn't want them to tell me anything if they didn't want it.

"He is right, kid deserves to know" Raph mutters, standing there with his arms over each other. Both Leo and Donnie look up. I immediately feel bad when true fear spreads on Don's face. He only looks for a second, then immediately turning his attention to my arm again, finishing it while completely ignoring the comment of Raph.

"Don?" Leo cautiously asks, doing a step forwards, to comfort him.

"Tell him Leo.. okay? Raph's right, he'll be here for a while, he needs to know" Donnie speaks in a dull voice, wrapping a bandage around my arm and using one hand to gently part the icepack from my cheek. He prods his fingers on my cheek for a few seconds and then moves my arm back, so the icepack is touching my cheek again.

Then he turns his shell towards me and walks out of the subway car, Raph following him with a second of hesitation. Leo eventually turns towards me, taking a breath and hopping onto another table, not even looking. _Like he was able to see anything._

"Look dude, you really don't have to tell me if you don't want to y'know. It's your secret" I try, not wanting Leo to tell anything against his will but Leo holds up his hand again for a second.

"I want to, and Donnie is fine with it as well. He just don't want to hear the story." He assures me. "He and Mikey were affected the most by everything that had happened back then. Well you saw what happened to Mikey.. Donnie remained somewhat the same, but he .. things happen when he remembers"

My fingers curl around the edge of the table, feeling my heart thumb in my chest.

"It all happened three years ago…"

TMNT

Next chapter we'll find out what happened back then :3 and why Don acts like that.

Damare – shut up

Daitain futekina rīdā – fearless leader.


	5. Chapter 5

How many times have I told Mikey to shut up? How many times have I _wished_ for him to shut up? I knew the answer, countless times. So many times I had wanted for him to keep his mouth shut, or just leave me alone for a change, but he never did. He always seemed to do the exact opposite of what I asked, constantly bugging me, laughing around me.

And now I wanted nothing more than to hear his voice again, his laughter.

The lair seemed so empty right now, without his constant laughter or annoying. Donnie has locked himself in his lab, only coming out to get something to eat and to use the bathroom. But other than that, he hasn't shown his face. He wasn't sulking, far from it. It was like he was caught up with his lab. And to my horror I realized this was Mikey's job.

 _He_ was the one that looked after our genius brother, making sure he got enough sleep and food. Leo is constantly training, at least last time I checked. And the same damn story applies to him. Who knew how much Mikey did for us? Who knew how many times he was actually the reason that we got rest and actually relaxed like we teenagers should be doing? It had only been one day, but I've spotted Leo in the dojo 3 times right now.

And no Mikey to coax him out of his little home.

I knew he was blaming himself for Mikey's disappearance, and that's why he was training right now. He wanted to be ready to save him, to rescue him from whoever had him right now, or whatever dangers might be on the other side of the portal. _If_ we would even find him, _if_ he was still alive.

I knew they were just acting like that because they missed Mikey, including me and dad. Would this be our lair from now on? Would we really be like this if we couldn't rescue Mikey from wherever he was? I just wanted him back right now. The most frustrating thing about all of this was the inability to help, I always hated not being able to help.

But right now I absolutely disgusted it. I wanted my little brother back, I couldn't stand losing any of them, and I couldn't do anything about him. He wasn't with the Shredder, or in some kind of lab with humans, instead he was in a complete different dimension. Only Donnie could figure out where he was, and how to get there.

I couldn't do anything to help my little brother, who knows what horrors he has to endure right now?

* * *

"It all happened three years ago" Leonardo started with a neutral face voice, but his voice told me another story. "Mikey, Michelangelo, was just like you back then. Goofy, not really taking training serious but funny and easy-going. Nothing really affected him, or so we thought."

I shuddered slightly, weird hearing how Leo spoke about my counterpart, because it was almost identical to me. It was scary to know how much my counterpart has changed in such a short time. Sure three years weren't that short, but to undergo such a transformation. I didn't want to become him… I didn't ..

"It was another fight with the elite, powerful henchmen of the Shredder, difficult but not impossible. The only problem was the fact that me and Raph had fought that day, and we were both in a bad mood. It wasn't affecting us, just Mikey, who wanted to cheer us up. Instead of focusing like he was supposed to, he was goofing off in an attempt to cheer us up. And that eventually got him and Don captured"

I cast my head down in shame. I knew Michelangelo .. wasn't me but at the same time he was. But knowing that he got himself and Don captured, hurt….. I would never be able to live with myself if I let something like that happen. I had no problem with sacrificing myself to save my bro's, but hurting them and it being my fault?

"We looked for them non-stop, for 4 full days, before we found them somewhere in an abandoned building by sheer luck. Master Splinter was with us that day, wanting to make the Shredder pay for what he's done to his family, to us. When we found Mikey.. he had lost his arm, and was refusing to speak or even acknowledge us. Don was surprisingly unharmed" Leo continued his tale, glancing at me quickly.

I refused to look him in the eyes, feeling my heart thumping against my chest. All of this.. all that had happened, and all that was yet to be told, all Michelangelo's fault.

"There were footbots guarding them, and they attacked us once they spotted us. We fought hard but once Hun joined, it became too much. We were only with 3. Mikey was too injured to fight, and Don was exhausted. Raph lost an eye in the fight and one of the footbots managed to slash my eyes, but it was some kind of powder that blinded me, and we were forced to retreat." Leo said, his head lowering slightly as he quickly touched the scars on his face to show them.

 _Like I hadn't seen them before._

It was obvious he was trying to keep up the leader act, trying to hide the sorrow that was obviously still haunting him, even after these three years. I knew what was going to happen, at least for a part. I knew that this was the battle that Master Splinter didn't survive… I didn't know why I thought that, I just _knew_ it.

"Don and Master Splinter never made it out. Master Splinter got killed, and Donnie was taken again. We took Mike home, his arm was already gone…treated and stitched. They didn't want him to die. Raph tried to save my eyesight, but without the proper medical knowledge, he was unable to do so…. My eyesight was lost forever."

It didn't go unnoticed how he didn't say 'dad', or 'father'. He just said Master Splinter.. He only acknowledged his own father as his sensei. I knew why. Because the pain of losing a father is greater than losing a sensei. He doesn't _want_ to acknowledge him as his father, because that means he lost his dad, instead of his sensei.

And despite the obvious hate against his blindness, there was absolutely no blame against Raph in any way. Of course Raph wasn't the one to blame. I could be wrong, since there were even differences between our dimensions, but Raph has as much medical knowledge as Leo and me. We could stitch each other up, we could set a broken bone, we knew how to splint something, the basic medical knowledge.

But once it came to head injuries, damaged organs or damaged eyesight, none of us knew anything about it. We had to go to Donnie if we were injured like that. And this Raph probably didn't know anything about such a thing either. At least Leo wasn't blaming Raph for not being able to save his eyesight, they didn't need more shit in their lives.

"We searched for so long, but Shredder had moved Donnie somewhere else, out of the city. Mikey was very withdrawn the following months, blaming himself for father's death, and everything actually. Eleven months later we managed to find Donnie. But he wasn't the same anymore. Shredder had already won, he managed to kill dad, and he only wanted to see us suffer more. So instead of physically torturing Donnie, he locked Don away in a bright white prison with no visible doors."

"He was strapped on a horizontal table, even his head was kept in place. He was kept alive through an IV, leading out of the room. Nobody ever visited him in those 11 months, he never spoke to anyone, and it drove him mad." Only then did a lone tear escape Leo's eye, slowly dripping down his face until it was brutally wiped away by the back of his hand.

But the pain was clearly evident in his eyes.

"The 'attack' you saw yesterday, as we call it, was one of the consequences. It's a miracle he's actually considerably norming these days but those moments remind us how bad he actually is. We can't chain him, or lock him up in the lair since he isn't always like that. But once in a while he gets… those attacks.. Because he was isolated for such a long time.. he goes off to look for a 'friend'."

He tells me, keeping his head away from me as if he was shielding his emotions from me. He was Leo after all, always trying to be the oldest and protect us. And somehow that included keeping his emotions from us. Slowly my hand trialed to my neck, where the faint touch of the sword still lingered in my mind. The thin line of blood sliding down my neck.

The wound not deep enough to leave a scar, or to leave a noticeable mark after a night sleep.

"He's still incredibly strong. He got back to training right after we got him back, not because he wants to be strong but because it gives him a sense of normality. Humans never stand a chance when Donnie encounters them and takes one of them into the sewers. I hate killing them, but my family's safety is more important. Why would I let those humans suffer any more than I have to?" He says, not really asking a question.

It suddenly all made sense, all the weird behavior. Donnie just wants to find a friend, I could never understand why he would do it from my perspective. But he was isolated for 11 whole months, not being able to move, to do anything. That would drive anyone mad. He just wanted a friend.. unfortunately that was a human, unwillingly dragged into the sewers.

It all made sense, Raph and Leo waiting at the entrance. They knew once Donnie would be gone, that he would return with a human, either a child or an adult. Raph would be there to comfort Donnie, while Leo had taken the task of killing the human upon himself. The human would never keep their secret, having been dragged through the tunnels of the sewer by a giant turtle.

And Leo would be waiting to end their suffering as soon as possible.

"Michelangelo blames himself, Father's death, Don's capture and our wounds." He continues, a flash of guilt in his eyes. "We pushed him away when Don was gone. We never said we blamed him, I never did at least, but it wouldn't have made a difference. Pushing him with training, barely acknowledging him, blaming him… and it tore him apart."

* * *

How we managed to stay underground for 15 years is a mystery I still cannot solve. Nowadays even the slightest detention resulted in us driving mad. The lair was big, we had lots of rooms, but we were still turtles. We needed the fresh air, the space to run around and burn our endless energy. We couldn't get any sunlight obviously, but moonlight was a special treat as well.

And now it felt like I'd been underground for ages, I needed the fresh air, even though it's only been 1 day.

This wasn't New York, not my New York at least, but it was still similar. There were high buildings, a perfect way for us to get from one place to another. But the thing that was different were the turtles I was with. Unlike my brothers these were deadly serious. Not a hint of laughter was present. They were silent, like a ninja should be.

So I silently followed them, Michelangelo's threat still fresh in my mind.

There was an obvious bruise on the left side of my cheek, a few stitches in my hand but apart from that none of the injuries were bothering me, including the bruise and the stitches, for which I was grateful. I didn't know where I was going exactly, they had only told me that we were heading out to some good friends, and somehow I was scared. Not for the people I was going to meet.

But scared for the similarities.

If this was another dimension of my family, that meant that there could also be friends from my dimension, friends that had suffered the same faith as these 'brothers'. I didn't want to see more people scarred and damaged. But it was my choice to come along. I could've stayed home, but I needed to get some fresh air, and I didn't want to stay at the lair with Michelangelo.

Slowly Leo skidded to a halt, Raph and Don stopped as well. Slightly confused I stopped as well, waiting for either of them to say something. Nothing came, instead Leo jumped down, quickly followed by Raph and Don, all three of them quickly getting to the ground using the fire escape. Not really asking where they were going, I jumped down as well, landing into the dark alley with a small _thud._

With silent steps Leo walked up to one of the doors, knocking a couple of times. Almost immediately the door opened, revealing a red-haired woman in the door opening.

"Hey guys" She smiled, holding the door open as an invitation. She had red hair, cut into a pixie cut. Her hair wasn't red like April's hair, but like really red. She had bright green eyes and wore a tiny bit of mascara, nothing much but still noticeable.

"Hey April" Leo greeted her, walking into the house, followed by Don and Raph. And only then did her green eyes fall on me. They widened slightly and she took a step forwards, only to be stopped by a green hand on her shoulder. She swirled around, staring at the half-blind face of Leonardo before turning back to me.

"Come inside" She whispers, confusion in her voice. I slowly shuffled inside the house, taking in the house carefully. We were in some kind antique shop. The girl, April apparently, closed the door behind me and ushered me towards the stairs. Still a bit suspicious I followed the guys up the spiral stair, eventually walking into what was clearly a living room.

"Uncle Donnie!" Someone suddenly cried out. A second later a little girl dashed through the room, wrapping her arms around Don's waist. A genuine smile spread on Don's face as he picked up the little girl, placing her on his hips.

"Hey little girl, you've grown" Don smiled, tickling the small girl slightly, causing her to squeal loudly. April came up behind me, a smile on her face as she watched the scene unfold.

"Okay guys, sit down, I'll get you something to drink" April said as she walked past me, giving me a confused look for a second. I didn't blame her; she didn't know me, and judging by Leo's description, Michelangelo used to be just like me. And I wore an orange mask, carried around nun chucks. I followed the guys towards the couch, sitting down next to Don, who was still holding the girl.

She had light blond hair which had been cut off at her shoulders. She had bright blue eyes and she had her small arms wrapped around Don's neck, a large smile plastered on her face. I frowned slightly, the same smile that was on the girl's face was on Don's face as well. His shoulders were down, relaxed, his eyes shining with joy.

Leo and Raph didn't sit down however, but something was different about them as well.. they seemed more relaxed, just like Donnie.

Leo took a last look at his younger sibling before walking after April, not saying anything or explaining his absence. I was left alone with Raph and Don, and the little girl that was now attempting to climb onto Don's head. It honestly still surprised me how .. relaxed he seemed, like everything he's been through hasn't happened.

Eventually Leo walked back into the room after being gone for a good 10 minutes, closely followed by April and another man. I quickly noticed that April wasn't carrying any drinks like she said she would, but my best guess was that Leo talked to April for some reason or another, and she forgot all about it, and by the look on her face it wasn't a bad guess.

I squinted my eyes slightly, looking at the large man walking up to us. He was muscled, very muscled. He had slightly long, black hair, several hockey sticks and a baseball bat on his back. He was wearing a brownish tank top and his arms a tiny.. baby. April sighed slightly at the sight of the man and took the baby from him, who was happily sleeping in his arms.

"Be safe Casey" She said, earning a quick kiss from the man, before turning to Don and the little girl. "Hon, uncle Donnie has to go now. Why don't you put on your pyjama already?" She said, sitting down on the chair with the baby propped against her right arm.

The little girl quickly looked up with a startles expression. "Can I wait for Donnie?" She asked, her voice light but desperate. I almost chuckled as she flashed the puppy eyes, a technique I've used a lot on Master Splinter.

April shook her head with an amused smile. "Sorry hon, they'll be gone for a while." She said. "But if you go now you can have some hot chocolate before getting to bed " Immediately the little girl brightened up, giving a quick kiss to 'uncle Donnie' before running off.

"Don't worry babe, we'll be back" The large man said as the little girl ran out, winking quickly before walking after Leo and Raph, closely followed by Don. I was left alone with April and the baby that was now slowly starting to wake. Her eyes were just as blue as the other girl, but instead of a happy look, the girl slowly started to cry.

April didn't seem to mind however and just smiled at the baby. "You're hungry aren't you?" She coed, but only earning another cry and then looked up to. "I know this is a bit sudden, I'll explain in a minute okay? I just need to grab some food for her, can you hold her for a second?" She said, standing up and placing the baby in my arms without waiting for an actual answer.

There was a genuine smile on her face, trust wrinkling in her eyes, along with sadness. I sucked in a breath as the baby started wiggling, but as soon as her eyes fell on me her cries died out a little. So small.. so fragile. I smiled gently at her, trailing my thick finger along her tiny arm. One push, one hit, she was just so fragile.

Could I handle so much responsibility?

I knew it was silly to say but one little push, one mistake and it was over. Slowly tears started to drip down her face and her cries increased again, until it become loud wailing. I looked up from the little girl just as April came back, and an ounce of relief washed over me. She never took the baby from me however.

And only when she gave me the bottle I knew what she wanted me to do.

"Uhm April.. I've never done this before y'know. Maybe it's better if you do it" I said, feeling my heart beating in my chest. April laughed, handing me the warm bottle of milk and practically ignoring my protests.

"Don't worry, she's very easy when you feed her" She assured me, guiding the bottle towards the mouth of the girl in my arms. April was right. Almost immediately after the bottle was stuck in her mouth she stopped crying. He eyes slowly widened as she wrapped her tiny hands along the bottle and eagerly began to suck the milk.

"Sorry about all of this Mikey. Leo just informed me of the situation, judging by his story you weren't expected" She started, relaxing in the chair close by. I looked up from the girl, nodding slightly. "I'm not sure how familiar our dimension are.." She started, opting me to continue to sentence. Of course she wants to know how familiar our dimension were. But the question is, how much were we alike?

"Well …I've heard your name was April. April O'Neil right?" I ask, earning a nod from April. "And I assume that was Casey.. right? Though in my dimension they are human.. and they aren't together.. you're together right?" I shyly added, feeling my heart ache at the thought of them. I liked this April already, she was sweet and obviously caring, but I just missed _my_ friends, _my_ family.

 _My_ dimension.

April nodded with a smile. "Yes, he's my husband, we've been married for 5 years now" She told me. "We have two little girls, Shadow, and Angel. Shadow just turned 3, while Angel is 5 months" I smiled slightly, looking down at the girl who was apparently named Angel. It was fitting. Her eyes were the brightest blue I'd ever seen, and her hair was so light. And yet so fragile.

Maybe I should be surprised about Casey being April's husband, but I wasn't. No matter how much I supported Donnie, even if I didn't always showed it, I knew Casey and April were both human, and I knew April cared for both of them. How much I wanted Don to be happy, I knew that April and Casey were probably better, both being human, and one of them not having to hide from the topside world.

Besides, this was another dimension.

"Mikey.." April suddenly said, a urgent tone in her voice. "I want to show you something in a minute 'kay? It's important" She continued, actually looking a bit uncertain. I nodded, not really sure if I wanted to see what she wanted to show me. But she was nice, she was hostile and it was obvious she was good friends with the guys, just as our April was.

I was scared, I knew that whatever she wanted to show me was important.

So I waited in slight fear, my heart beating slightly and waiting for April to say something, keeping myself occupied by holding Angel in my arms. Minutes later Shadow returned, wearing a My little Pony pyjama and carrying a big cup which I assumed was the hot chocolate with whipped cream. I relaxed slightly, though still worried about whatever she wanted to show.

Shadow was smiling brightly as she climbed on top of the couch, sitting down next to me. Angel's eyes flashed to her older sister for a split-second but quickly focused on the bottle again. I smiled slightly, _priorities._

Doubtfully I glanced at April but she just smiled gently, whatever she wanted to show wasn't ready to be shown yet. Next to me Shadow gently sipped at her hot chocolate, glancing towards me continuously. She shifted next to me so she could take a closer look at me, and unconsciously I shifted a bit as well. Angel gave a little whine out of protest but quickly returned to her bottle.

"Shadow, don't you know it's rude to stare at people like that?" April suddenly smiled, causing me and Shadow to look up.

"Sorry mommy" She said shyly. "But he looks like Mikey but I know he is not.." She continued, tilting her head slightly in obvious curiosity. Before I could reply to her comment April giggled softly, though it didn't seem very genuine. She was giggling, she really was, but there was a sad undertone she was trying to hide. And I knew damn well why that was, because I reminded her of the cheerful Mikey, the one that made them laugh.

The failure.

"It's difficult to explain Angel, but he's like your uncle Mikey, just another version" April tried to explain, but how could you possibly explain different dimensions to a three year old? "Okay, no more questions hon, it's already late. Why don't you brush your teeth and I'll be there in a sec" She suddenly said, reaching out to get the cup from Shadow.

"but Mommy, 'm not sleepy" She complained in response. April folded her arms over each other, a slight smirk on her face, and yet a stern expression on her face; daring Shadow to question her authority. Shadow pouted in return but reluctantly slit of the couch until her feet were touching the ground.

"I'll be right there honey" April said, losing the stern expression and giving a smile, kissing her daughter on the scalp quickly. Shadow smiled and walked away, and only then did April fully turn towards me. "You saw what I did?" She questioned, causing me to frown.

"You.. you sent her to bed?" I ask, still confused to what she was referring to. April sighed a bit, but not out of annoyance. The little sigh you let out when you're debating how to say something. So this was the thing she wanted to show me, the question is, _why?_

"Imagine Shadow as your brothers. I know it sounds weird, but just hear me out" She said, stopping me before I could say anything. "Imagine she was family. You want to keep her happy, you want to make her laugh but you also want her to be healthy. Balancing those things is hard, I as a parent can know"

I merely nodded, letting her complete her tale. But I had absolutely no idea where this was going. And I just wanted to know. Slowly she scooted a little closer. Uncertainty was clearly evident in her eyes, and she was deep in thought, trying to formulate her sentences correctly.

"Mikey, you're so similar to the old Michelangelo. Even if you don't know it, I know you" She started a bit hesitantly. "Tomorrow's a school day. I could have given in and let Shadow stay up, and she would be happy. Instead I disappointed her and sent her to bed, so she'll be rested tomorrow. The price I had to pay was her happiness. That doesn't mean that she thinks I don't love her, and that doesn't mean that she won't love me anymore."

She took a deep breath.

"I know you want to keep your brothers happy, and I admire that. But slacking with training so they will look good, pretending to be dumb to make them look smarter, it will only harm them one day, or yourself. You saw the price Michelangelo had to pay, his arm, Leo's eyesight, Raph's eye, Don's humanity. And eventually his father's life. You don't have to make that price Mikey, it's not worth the constant laughter" She sighed, standing up. "Just think about it okay?"

And then she walked after Shadow, leaving me alone, _again._


	6. Chapter 6

Hey guys! I'm so sorry for the late update, I really am! I just.. the last few episodes were just so disappointing and I found myself losing interest in TMNT. But after reading some fics again this holiday I realised I was losing interest in the cartoon itself, and definitely not the amazing fanfictions out there.

So don't worry, I definitely won't stop writing. And I hope the next episodes will be a bit more enjoyable. For now, enjoy the chapter ^^

TMNT

Unrealistic.

That was the only word I could think of right now, unrealistic. Everything just seemed too unrealistic. I mean, who would've ever thought I'd be sent to another dimension? Heck, up until a few months ago I didn't even know there were different dimensions. And right now I was in the middle of one. Though it wasn't really another dimension.

It was a nightmare.

All of this, everything around me was a living nightmare. Not for me, but for them. My brothers, who aren't even my brothers at the same time. Me, who isn't me at the same time. Everything was just a nightmare that they couldn't wake up from. And I was thrown right into the lion's den. The only thing that was constantly ringing through my head was why? Why did this happen to me?

I already knew the answer, because I messed up back then, I goofed off, I dropped my guard. It was my fault, and my responsibility to fix it.

Angel mumbled softly beneath me, wiggling slightly in my hold. Her head was resting against the side of my neck, one of her tiny hands placed on my shoulder. So tiny and so fragile. My smile faltered slightly as she mumbled again, but never waking up. April was right, she was very easy. Yet, I found myself anxious to hold her.

I was a ninja, sure I was taught to be careful and to be delicate. But I was still a ninja. Deadly, muscled, trained to defend myself, my brothers and the ones who couldn't defend themselves. Not trained to hold a tiny, fragile baby. Was this how Leo felt every day? He had to carry this responsible every day, he had to make sure we were safe every single day. Was this how it felt? Holding a tiny little baby who'd shatter once you dropped it?

And all I did was make things difficult for him.

"You're good with this" April said softly as she walked back into the room, causing me to look up at her. "The guys won't be back for another 2 hours, why don't you make yourself comfortable?" She continued gesturing to the TV as she walked up to me, stretching her arms. I immediately understood and looked down at Angel.

I nodded bluntly, carefully handing over the baby. For a second I was afraid she would wake up from all the movement but she stayed perfectly still, wiggling to make herself comfortable in her mother's arms. She nestled herself, and I smiled again.

April nodded to me and walked away with Angel in her arms. The flash in her eyes didn't go unnoticed, the change of expression. Sadness was present in her eyes, and it wasn't hard to figure out why that particular emotion was on her face, it was because of me. The exact same reason why the guys couldn't handle me being around.

Because I reminded them of the good times they didn't have anymore.

Back when their father was still alive, back when they weren't physically disfigured.

TMNT

"Hey kid, ya doin' okay?"

The voice didn't even startle me that much. I hadn't seen him coming, neither did I hear him but I had long expected someone to get up here. So when the quiet yet rough voice penetrated through the never-ending silence I was prepared, I was expecting it. Honestly, I was quite surprised they didn't look for me before.

Of course I had told April I was up here but I figured they'd want to know if I was safe. At least that was the case back home. We were allowed to go off on our own, _if_ it had been quiet the last few weeks or so, but we always made sure we could contact each other. We always kept in touch just in case. Unless one of us got mad and needed some time alone, but even then we always kept our phones on.

But I guess that wasn't the case here really.

I looked up slightly, watching as Raph leaned back against a wall near the edge of the building. His arms were folded over each other, his remaining eye staring at me. Like he was scanning me for any injuries and making sure I wasn't too close to the edge to fall off. Not like I was gonna let that happen, but still I was pretty close to the edge. I liked it that way, it gave me a good view over the city.

It always calmed me down, something I couldn't do at home because that wasn't 'Mikey'.

I shrugged slightly, turning my gaze back to the hundreds of light beneath me. Was I okay? Did I feel okay? I snorted slightly, I don't even know myself. I was fine right now, I mean I wasn't feeling bad or anything like that. Still I felt… weird… out of place even. But hey, that could be the fact that I was in another dimension.

"I guess" I eventually said, shrugging again to emphasise my point. Raph seemed to notice my hesitation and slowly walked over to me, sitting down next to me. He had his legs crossed just like me en deliberately avoided looking at me. Michelangelo probably didn't like that as well.

"Am I hurting you?" My voice was so incredibly small and I hated it. I never had a problem appearing small or weak but somehow I hated it right now.

"What do you mean?" Raph asked, still not looking at me.

"Do I hurt you? You, Leo, Donnie, everyone. Do I hurt you by being here?"

Raph's face twisted slightly, a weird expression appearing on his face. Now he slowly turned his face to me and for the first time in a full 24 hours I didn't flinch at the sight of his stitched eye. And that particular fact scared me actually, I was getting used to seeing my brother disfigured.

"Yes"

He eventually admitted with a soft voice, soft but still rough like I knew and remembered my older brother.

"Yes, you do hurt us by being here. Yer laugh, the sparkle in your eyes, yer innocence. It reminds us of the Mikey we knew, or thought we knew. And it hurts to remember my youngest brother with both arms, laughing and joking, and just bein' a ball of energy."

Next to me Raph huffs a bit, a sly smile appearing on his face. I frowned slightly.

"I don't even know how ya do it, but no matter how much ya hurt us, you also help us" He continues, which was definitely not helping the frown on my face. How could I possibly be helping them with anything? Heck, Raph _just_ mentioned how I was hurting them by being here, and right now he was telling me I was helping them?

"Do ya know why Don and Shadow seems so close?" Raph asks me, ignoring the evident frown on my face. I knew he saw my frown but for some reason he was ignoring it. I shook my head as a _no._ I had no idea why Shadow seemed to close to Don, why she ran towards Donnie instead of Leo or Raph.

Another huff escapes Raph mouth. "We know it ain't true but we would joke about it. That it is April's fault that Shadow is so attached to Donnie" He starts, not explaining anything with his explanation really. "When April was 7 months pregnant with Shadow, Don and Mike got taken, and later Don got taken again."

Still, I had no idea where this was going, but I waited patiently because I could see how much it hurt Raph to talk about it. His jaw was firmly set and there was absolutely no emotion present on his face. And that's how I knew how much Raph was hurting really.

"You never saw it, and neither did we really but both Don and Mike are close to Shadow. I am the only one who ever saw Mike holding Shadow, and that was the first time I had seen him smile in over a year."

I shifted slightly. "How did April's pregnancy affect… their relationship..?" I eventually dared to ask. Raph smirked slightly, still looking at the city in front of him.

"We know it ain't true like I said, but we always say that April worried so much about Mike and Don while she was pregnant that Shadow took that trait over somehow. I mean when she was 1 year old she saw the lair for tha first time, and almost immediately crawled over tha Donnie, passing Leo in the process."

A second, that's all the time Raph allowed a smile to appear on his face.

"What about Michelangelo?"

This time Raph did look at me, taking a deep breath. "He wasn't there that day, but a few months later I caught him in Shadow's room, holding her. That was the first time in over a year I had seen him smile, and it was the last time I had seen him smile."

Mixed emotions filled me. At the same time I was happy to hear it. Mikey.. the other Mikey … seemed so angry, so broken. Though knowing that Shadow could make him smile again warmed me. But at the same time it was the only time he could smile, and the only time Raph had seen him smile. Everything was just so messed up here.

"I talked to April the next day, alone. She told me Mikey doesn't come often, but he only does it when Shadow is fast asleep. April discovered when she checked on Shadow one night, and saw that Mike had fallen asleep with Shadow curled up against him. She didn't mind, she told me he was smiling softly in his sleep. She never told Mikey she caught him, knowing it would scare him off"

"Why did you tell me? How do I help you?" I whisper after a short second, still curious how I could possible help them. He looks away again, not because he can't stand looking at me but just because he's Raph. Raph isn't good with talking, and yet he's doing an amazing job right now. And I realise I have to remind myself that this isn't _my_ Raph. That he isn't actually my older brother I grew up with.

 _But they are so alike._

"Because Don and Mikey both went through hell. Do ya know when Don visited Shadow for tha last time?" I shook my head again, not really trusting my voice. "Me neither, but it's been long. I don't know how the fuck you do it, but ever since ya arrived he's been more open. Heck, I'm surprised Mike didn't kill ya when he attacked ya. Whatever yer doing Mikey, no matter how much ya hurt us, you also help us"

Again a silence dawns upon us because I had no idea what to say. I had no idea that I was even helping, or that their situation had been worse just a few days ago. I was the goofball, I never helped, I was the liability in the family. And yet Raph said that I was helping them, improving their behaviour. So we both kept our mouth shut, silence overtaking the area.

It isn't the type of silence that makes you wanna say something, it's comforting. It gives me room to think for a minute, gather my scattered thoughts. Something I could rarely do at home. It seemed like the guys didn't really trust me outside, alone. I never had time to just think on my own. I knew it was my own fault.

I acted like a big goofball, who didn't care about the comments they made about me, or the type of guy who didn't have an off-day. They thought I didn't cry, or needed time alone. And frankly they didn't trust me outside alone, which was yet again my own fault, but still, I could look after myself.

 _It was all pretend._

"Let's go back. Fearless probably wants ta go back to tha lairalready" Raph eventually said, easily standing up and walking to the other side of the building, crouching down to jump down. Before he jumped his head slowly turned around, looking at me with a waiting expression. My body protested slightly as I stood up, having been in the same position for over an hour or so. Not to mention the concrete surface I was sitting on.

Raph smirked slightly and jumped the moment I was fully standing. Unconsciously a smile spread on my face, a true one. And it was that moment that I realised, maybe me being sent to this dimension wasn't that bad after all.


	7. Chapter 7

It was weird doing this, quite hypocritical if you think about it. But I guess being in the situation yourself makes you change your mind over certain things. 'Oh I would never do that', 'nobody does that in that situation' I used to say. Because it was completely stupid to do certain things, and it was stupid that movies or anyone suggested you'd do those.

And here I was, counting the days I was stuck in this place and writing a freaking diary.

Heck, I think everyone, at least that's what I heard from April, has tried to write a diary in his or her life, the keyword being trying. I myself have written a diary, I even know Raph has when he was younger but everyone dropped it eventually. So when a movie once suggested people did those things I laughed. While I was currently, and ironically, writing a diary myself.

It made me calm down, arrange my thoughts, which by the way was a thing that seemed to be impossible these days. And it made me accept everything that was happening around me. You know all those stories where someone is sent to the future, or another dimension, and despite missing his or her family he still has a nice time?

Well I just had the luck of being sent to a world where my family has been physically and mentally scarred. I so love being a turtle right now.

"Hey, you okay? You've been awfully quite" a voice broke my train of thought, and I looked up a bit disorientated. In front of me was Leo, standing tall and intimidating as ever, and still welcoming.

"Yea, just thinking about things" I said, massaging my knees slightly. I was suddenly aware of the position I had probably been in for a while, and it surprised me slightly. But it also made my protesting knees a little more known.

"May I?" The blue banded leader asked, gesturing to the spot in front of me.

"It's your living room dude" I shrugged. Leo snorted lightly.

" _Our_ living room." He corrected me as he sat down in the same position as I was, our knees only a meter apart. But unlike me, he actually seemed comfortable in the lotus position. But hey, that might've something to do with me sitting like this for an hour or so. Or that both Leo's like to meditate, and have been in this position for hours.

"Leo, I love that you guys .. well offer me to stay and all. But you don't have to pretend I'm family or anything." I retorted, the conversation with Raph still in my mind, even if it had already been over 36 hours.

In front of me Leo shakes his head. "You're wrong Mikey. Even if you're … different, you're still part of the family."

"Even if I hurt you guys by being here?" That actually seems to surprise Leo, and I wasn't sure what surprised him, other than the fact that _something_ surprised him. Something I said, something I implied with my sentence. Then, something that resembled a smirk crossed his face.

"I tend to forget how smart you really are Michelangelo" Leo laughed, almost amused. But I knew he wasn't only talking about me. "But yes, even if you hurt us. You're family, and you're welcome here"

A silence fell upon us, because really, how could I respond to this? It wasn't like I wanted to have a fight over whether I wasn't welcome or not. Leo seemed pretty determined that I was, and that I was family. And on top of that, we both knew I was hurting them. So I couldn't really that as an excuse to argue with Leo over this.

"Raph told me about April, and the conversation you had on the rooftop" Leo eventually spoke up. "It was true what he said about you hurting us. I sadly can't give you an explanation but you do do something. Though that wasn't what I wanted to talk about" He adds.

"I was the one who asked April to talk to you. Apparently Mikey, Michelangelo, spent a lot of time with April before.. the whole accident happened. I figured she could talk to you the best but you seem different since then, and not particularly better."

"Yea, I figured you told her to talk with me. I just.. why? Like why bother trying to help me?" I sigh slightly, finally giving up on sitting in a lotus position.

"Because I don't want you to ruin your own life Mikey. I figured April could talk to you, and you could try to prevent all of this. Ruining a happy family."

"Like Michelangelo did to you" I finish his sentence, earning a firm nod from the older turtle. "She told you about the conversation right?" Again a nod came from Leo.

"She did" He didn't verbally apologise, but I could see he was for prying a private conversation from April like that. But to be honest, I didn't mind at all. "She was right you realise that hopefully?"

"I already knew dude, I just… it's hard to change who you are." I state, looking at the ground in some sort of shame. The realisation that I knew this all along made the ache in my chest only more difficult to bear. What if something bad really had happened? And I knew all along it was gonna cause my family trouble, cause them such loss.

"That's what has been troubling you" Leo states, the question mark not even present the slightest bit. "I'm not saying you should live your life a certain way, but you've seen the consequences of your actions-"

"Wait" I interrupt him bluntly, holding up my hands in a defensive gesture. "You don't blame Michelangelo for everything right..? I mean he's the one who caused this, but you don't blame him entirely, right?" I continue, dread filling me.

Leo's silent for a minute. "Mikey… " he starts uncertain, real confusion lacing his voice. "Why wouldn't we? I hate seeing him like this, sure. But he's the one who caused all of this."

"Are you serious?!" I cried out, feeling anger starting to rise. "You can't blame him for something you made him into Leo! That's not how it works. That's… that's like.. God, you're such a hypocrite Leo. Sure he made a mistake but you can't blame him entirely!" I was vaguely aware that I was raising my voice, with anger I might add, but I didn't stop.

"What are you implying Mikey? That we are the one to blame? That he made a tiny mistake that could've happened to any of us? He's the one to blame. You weren't there Mikey, and you don't know anything about this!" He practically hissed, narrowing his eyes slightly.

Angrily I throw my hands in the air, jumping up in one fluent movement. "And you know nothing about me, Leo!" And with that I walked away, my notebook firmly in my hands and knuckles turning white from the anger I was feeling. He didn't know anything! And I probably didn't either, but he just didn't get it. He didn't get me, he didn't get Michelangelo, his own baby brother.

I now realised that it came from both sides, Michelangelo versus Raph and Leo.

And it was the reason this family was tearing apart.

TMNT

Training was… weird and awkward. Leo refused to look at him other than a student he couldn't get to know other than his name. He only acknowledged me as a student, addressing me by my full name and only looking at me if he really needed to. But eventually even he had to face me when he surprisingly lost to Raph, and I lost to Donnie, which wasn't surprising at all.

While their fight lasted over 10 full minutes, mine only lasted a short minute. But then again, that could've had something to do with the huge age difference and the experience, not to mention the intensity of their training, and the quantity. Sure we had trained twice a day a few times, especially when grounded or when the Shredder was newly introduced to us. But they have been training twice a day for twice as long for 3 years now.

"Onegai shimasu" Leo and I both said, bowing before taking our stances. Don and Raph were watching from the side-lines, and Michelangelo was nowhere to be found. Which wasn't a surprise since he hasn't been training with the guys since that accident the first training, now 2 days ago.

The fight went horrible.

I was flat on my shell within the thirty second mark. I wasn't surprised, my head was somewhere else during the fight, and spinning circles right now. I just couldn't focus, I already had trouble when fighting Don, but the talk with Leo only made it worse. Not like I could've beaten them, but it was the fact that I had been beaten so fast.

"You weren't focused" Leo stated bluntly, standing over me.

"Tell me something I don't know" I groan, rolling over to balance on my hands and knees.

"You should focus" Leo says sarcastically, but he wasn't joking in any way. In fact, he was dead serious. But what did I expect? Ever since my fall-out he's been like that. I snort slightly, hoping to get across the message that I fully knew I should focus.

Leo glares at me slightly before turning his head away. "Training is over" He then states, being the first one to walk away from the dojo. I sigh, sitting down and crossing my legs again.

"What was that about?" Raph blurts out, staring at me with confusion. Not sure he was talking about the fact that we had only been training for 30 minutes, or the weird behaviour. Probably both.

"He talked to me this morning" I start, not daring to look at the others. Not when I had already pissed of Leo, though he totally deserved it. But I guess I couldn't really blame him either, after all, he didn't know the whole story. He didn't know Michelangelo. From the corner of my eye Raph gave a short nod to Donnie, a silent _I got this_.

"What'd fearless say?" Raph asks me, sitting down in the same way Leo had done hours ago.

"He told me about .. well about everything April has told me" I start, looking up. Raph nods, letting me know he knows about that conversation. "Well, he talked to me about ..that I was able to prevent all of this." I say, gesturing to our surroundings. But Raph nodded again, again knowing what I was talking about.

"He then said that I've seen the consequences my, Michelangelo's, actions have caused. And I asked him if you guys entirely blamed him"

"Why'd ya ask?"

"Because you do blame him, Leo confirmed it. He said he was the reason you're all like this. And I told him that he doesn't know Michelangelo" I say, my voice dropping significantly. "He's not his fault Raph, not entirely. Leo doesn't get that.. and I hope you do. Because it really isn't his fault.. and I didn't want to cause any-"

"Shut up" Raph eventually cuts me off, pausing in between the words. He groans lowly, running a quick hand over his face. "Idiot" He crumbles through his teeth before walking out of the room.

TMNT

"Anythin' new?" I ask in a whispered tone as I entered the dojo. Before me Leo was sitting on his knees, hands on top of them, waiting patiently for Master Splinter to open his eyes. I silently walk over to my older brother, not wanting to disturb either of them.

"Nothing yet, I just can't seem to get a hold on him" Leo whispers back once I sit down next to him. And I can't stand the disappointment and the self-hate that is filling his voice.

I gnaw at my lip slightly. "Leo… you tried bro. It ain't simple, ya know that. Even dad has trouble findin' him" I tell him, for once allowing myself to let my guard down. I know Leo needs it right now. Even when the mask hides it, I know how exhausted he is. He's constantly meditating with Master Splinter to find Mikey, or try to find him. So far, neither has been able to do so.

"Dad contacted with Mikey 2 days ago" _Or so I thought._

"Wait, why ain't anyone telling me this?" I hiss, my voice raising slightly. Luckily dad didn't hear it, and his eyes keep closed. His mind searching for the youngest member of our small family.

"He didn't want us to know, I only know because I was with him."

"But why? Why didn't ya say anything, and why the change of mind?" I backfire, my voice still low, and it feels weird. It wasn't quite arguing like Leo and I normally did, but it still kinda felt like I was. And having to keep my voice down was weird.

"Because you needed assurance Raph. Even if you don't say it, I can see it on your face. You haven't heard from Mikey in 3 days, you're not sure if he's still alive. That's why I'm telling now, he survived a day wherever he is. And I'm sure he'll be able to survive till we get him back."

"Still, why wouldn't ya tell me? Or Don, April, Casey, everyone is worried sick. I still am." I ask him, ignoring the thumbing of my own heart against my plastron. The feeling that something was missing. And something was, my youngest brother. My baby brother. We didn't know where he was, if he was okay or anything. Only that he was alive 2 days ago.

"It isn't exactly a positive note Raph… Master Splinter contacted him for just a split-second. And he's sure Mikey doesn't even know." A short silence followed, the only sound the deep breathing of Master Splinter. "He was in pain Raph. Not a lot, but he still was in pain. Dad said it was like he was being attacked, but he didn't know for sure because it was only a second or so" Leo eventually confesses. And I'm not sure I should be glad he told me.

Mikey was in pain, he was being attacked.

 _Shit_. I didn't want to hear that. Don't get me wrong, I was fucking relieved Mikey was alive, I really was. I wanted nothing more than to rescue him, and take him home with us, and knowing he was alive meant we still could. But he was in pain, being attacked by something we didn't even know. We didn't know anything other than the fact that he wasn't with us anymore.

We couldn't even figure out if he was still _here_. The T-phone got shattered, it didn't even pick up a signal when we called him, and there were no remains. Not like we could stay long to find them, because the Kraang were immediately firing at us so we had to retreat, a decision neither of us was happy with. Basically, we had no lead at all.

 _And it was driving me mad_.

"I want him home again Leo… I don't want to find him dead, or in any other state than fine" I eventually whisper, shocking myself by my confession. But I was feeling numb right now. Mikey had survived one day wherever he was, but he had been in pain, and was being attacked. I didn't want any of my nightmares coming through.

Because apparently my mind thought it was funny to carry out the worst scenarios. And I ended up finding Mikey in some alley, shot, mauled and dead. Sometimes not even dead, but dying. I would see Mikey dying in my arms, eventually he would stop breathing, and the tears of pain would stop streaming down his face.

I knew it was a mix of real events, the most evident one being the time Tiger Claw knocked him unconscious. I was holding Mikey the exact same way as in my dreams. Or the time he broke his arm when he was 6, and dad had to wrap his arm while Mikey was gasping in pain every time Dad touched his arm, just because us mutants couldn't go to a proper hospital and get him some fucking painkillers.

"We won't Raph, Mikey is strong. He'll pull through. And we will find a way to find him."

I wanted to reply to Leo, some sort of assurance that we'd find him, because I knew he wasn't sure himself. But before I had to change a strangled gasp came from dad. My eyes flew wide open, watching as a shudder went through his body and he fell forwards, landing fluidly on his front paws.

"Dad, what's wrong?!" Leo cried out, rushing forwards to place a hand on his shoulder. Shallow breaths left his mouth, his chest heaving slightly and he slowly reached upwards, placing a paw over Leo's hand, and slowly he straightened up, placing his other paw over my hand, squeezing is slightly. I blinked in confusion, not even realising I had moved towards him.

"I am alright my sons" He says calmly, but a pained expression is on his face.

"What happened father? Please tell us" Leo pleads, his sea blue eyes popping with desperation.

"Michelangelo is alive my sons, I caught hold of him again. But only for a few seconds" I couldn't feel relived at the sentence, I refused myself to feel relieved because the _but_ was all too evident, and all too inevitable.

"But he is in pain, worse than last time. He is being attacked again"

TMNT

I knew I was being stupid, but it had never stopped me before, so would it now? This time was different though. If the different dimension wasn't already a dead give-away. This time it wasn't a stupid action to make my bros laugh, this time it was an action to prove something. I wanted, no needed, something to prove.

To Leo and Raph.

To save this family. Because I couldn't be here without trying to help. Even if it meant I would do something stupid, or something that would endanger my own life. If it worked, it could help them, and that's what counted here. Even if Leo was being a complete idiot, he was right about something in that conversation this morning. We were family in a way. Very distant cousins, but still family.

And family helped each other.

So that's why I pushed through, ignoring the nagging feeling and the constant screams in my head saying _don't do it, don't be stupid._ I ignored all of it as I slid open the Shōji, walking inside of the dojo. My nun chucks were burning in my holsters, and I was ready to get them, defend myself if I had to, and I would need them.

"What the fuck do you want?" Michelangelo sneered, stopping in the middle of a round of katas to look at the intruder, me.

"I want to spar with you"


	8. Chapter 8

Hey Guys! I have some good and bad news. Uhmm the bad news is that I have created another account. I recently got into Teen Wolf, and after catching up to 60 (?) episodes I wanted to write fanfictions for that fandom as well. But I didn't want it on this account because you guys follow me because of TMNT, and not Teen Wolf. (If anyone's interested, my username is Arithese, very original xD)

The good news however is that I have entirely planned this story, until the end. And what happens in what chapter and all. So my new account certainly doesn't meant I'll stop writing on this account. And I will finish my ongoing stories, and start new ones if I have ideas. Updates just may come a bit slower.

TMNT

"Hey" I start out quite awkwardly. "Can we talk for a bit?" I add, scraping my throat before doing so. Involuntarily I scratched the side of my head, balancing on the heels of my feet as I watched Leo and Raph turning their heads at the same time towards me. Both undoubtedly mad at me for yelling. Most probably. They certainly didn't seem angry right now.

More regretful.

Which didn't make sense at all.

"I shouldn't have lashed out like that Leo.. and I'm sorry for that. But I'm not going to apologise for what I said" I knew the way I was getting my point across was rather direct, but I was done dancing around these subjects. If I wanted to make something like this clear, I just had to spit it out.

"I have to say something as well" Leo retorts quietly, guilt creeping onto his face. "But I'd rather include Don in it, it also concerns him" The last sentence had me frowning. I thought I was the one blowing up on Leo, not on Raph nor Donnie. Still, I didn't say anything because whatever Leo was going to discuss would be something for the whole family.

I nodded to Leo, and he nodded back. There was too much formality in his nod, like he was acknowledging someone equal to him, not something as close as friends, or family. But I understood why he did it, or rather I thought I knew, he was uncertain at what level our relationship was right now. After all, I did blow up on him, and in my world that would be considered a fight.

A fight that needed to be talked out, or resolved some way or another for it to be over.

And that was exactly what I was planning to do right now, that was the plan. The plan however did not include Raph and Don. It wasn't like I didn't want them with me, I just thought that this was something between Leo and me.

Donnie was surprisingly, heavy sarcasm implied, in his lab. Ever since we managed to 'borrow' some science-y things from Baxter Stockman, someone who was apparently in this universe as well, he had been busy building a portal for me. Or trying to find a way to get me back home, needlessly to say, he was still working on it.

"Is anyone going to say something or what?" Donnie spoke up eventually, eyeing between Leo and me constantly. The office chair making squeaky noises as he continued to turn left on right, like any child (or adult) would do on such a chair. Raph was currently occupying the couch, don't ask me why they had a couch in the lab, while Leo was leaning against the wall.

It wasn't a very big lab if you'd compare it to the lab we had at home. But judging from the size of the old lab, it was an improvement. But hey, Don had two labs in this universe. But judging from the look of the old one, where he patched me up a few days ago, that one wasn't really used anymore.

"I'll go" Leo speaks up, authority in his voice yet again. "I thought about what you said Mikey, and I should apologise for what I have said." And the weird thing in all of this was the fact that Raph was nodding his head along with Leo, like he was agreeing to Leo's statement. And he was.

"I .. I don't understand" I whisper softly. And ironically Donnie nodded along with me.

"At first I was angry at you, you didn't know anything about our situation. But then Raph came to me after training, and when he talked to me I realised you knew more than we did maybe. At least when it concerns Michelangelo"

"I still have no idea where this is going Leo, what did Raph say… and how come you have changed your minds. Not to mention how this concerns 'the whole family'"

"You made me realise Mikey" Leo starts calmly. "You made us realise what we've done these past 21 years. We forced Michelangelo to be something he was not. And when we were children, that didn't really matter. But when we started patrolling, he had to be goofy, because we forced him to be. Every time he tried to serious, we blew him off. Every time he stopped joking, we all grew moody."

"What fearless is tryin' to say is that we made him make that mistake. We were angry at each other, and he tried to make us laugh, because that's what he always did." Raph cuts in, effectively cutting Leo's rant off. "And ya knew that didn't ya? Ya experienced something similar."

Tears brimmed in my eyes and I slowly nodded. "It happened a couple of times.. but not like this. But I know what it's like. You forced him to be someone, and he became that person. And even so, you didn't like him. Can you imagine how much that crushed him, he can't be who he really is, and you don't like the person you want him to be. He feels rejected, like he doesn't belong here. He-"

Again it's Raph that interrupts the conversation. This time by walking over to me. He kneels down in front of me, a hand on my shoulder. Like a father consoling his son.

"Yer not talkin' about Michelangelo, are ya?" But I knew I didn't need to answer, Raph already knew the answer after all. So I should my head slightly, brushing his hand off.

"That doesn't matter right now Raph.. the point I'm trying to make is how Michelangelo felt. He feels like he can't ever be good enough for you guys. When you blew him off that night, he didn't know what to do, you didn't accept him in any way. So he tried to remove himself from the family he didn't belong to."

"Not like I want him to go.. but why hasn't he run away. When he felt like he wasn't family anymore?" Leo said hesitantly, struggling to form the words correctly. And to my shock, tears were brimming in his eyes as well.

"Because he still loves you. I mean… I could never hate you guys. No matter what you throw at me. And maybe he stays to protect you from any danger, that's why he trains so hard"

Raph takes a few steps backwards, looking utterly defeated.

"Do ya think we can still make it right with 'im? Y'know, with ya being Mikey.. would ya forgive us?" Raph carefully asks, and maybe he doesn't even want the answer. Because it wasn't an answer he'd like. At least, if Michelangelo was that similar to me. Which hadn't been proved otherwise in the time I had been here.

"Honestly guys.. I… I forgive quite easily. I just can't stay mad at anyone.. I'm sorry guys, I would never do something like this. But you must've done something terrible for him to react this way, and for three whole years. I'm not sure if I would ever forgive you guys…."

TMNT

It's pretty ironic how a missing member could change a person so much. Or rather expose someone. Lately I had noticed how important Mikey was to our families. Always laughing and jumping up and down, putting a smile on our faces. Without it, it felt like a hole in our family. Someone was obviously missing.

Our youngest member.

 _"_ _Dad contacted with Mikey 2 days ago"_ Leo had told me yesterday. That would make it Mikey's 8th day, today was the 11th day that he was gone. And I counted every day he was gone, I wrote it down, remembered it. I didn't even care if my family found out I was doing this. Fuck, by the way Leo, Don and Dad were looking at me this morning I knew that they'd heard me cry.

Me, crying! I never cried. My emotions were apparently also against me, just like the nightmares that had haunted me last night. Worse than before. Because this whole Mikey-disappearing situation wasn't bad enough already. At least I knew he was still alive.

 _"_ _But why? Why didn't ya say anything, and why the change of mind?"_ I had backfired, angry why Leo hadn't told me Mikey was alive.

 _"_ _Because you needed assurance Raph. Even if you don't say it, I can see it on your face. You haven't heard from Mikey in 3 days, you're not sure if he's still alive. That's why I'm telling now."_ Still it fucking amazed me how I was the one to first contact him. The fifth day after Mikey had disappeared I got a hold on him when we were meditating.

Fucking me. Not Dad, not Leo, not Don. But **me.** I was fucking relieved of course, to hear his voice for a second, but I had no fucking idea what to do. And I lost contact with him. I was useless right then and there, useless to help my little brother. I contacted with him! I had a hold on him. And I let him slip.

Otherwise the next sentence could've been prevented maybe.

 _"_ _Michelangelo is alive my sons but he is in pain, worse than last time. He is being attacked again"_ Who was I even kidding, it couldn't've been my fault. Even if dad had contacted with Mikey 6 days ago, the fifth day after Mikey disappeared, he wouldn't've come home either. Even dad doesn't have that much power on the astral plane.

But it wasn't dad's fault either, nobody had so much power.

In fact, it was Donnie's fault. HE should be studying those damn particles we manage to snatch from the Kraang. Instead he was snoring in his bedroom. But even I knew that wasn't fair to say. I saw the bags Don had under his eyes, the same one that were under Leo's eyes. And I hated it, I hated seeing my family falling apart like this because we were constantly trying to find a way to get Mikey back.

And I hated that there was no one to blame.

"Wherever you are Mikey, please come home okay?" I whispered softly, staring upwards. I sighed and switched off the light next to my bed, burying myself under my covers. "Please be safe little brother"

TMNT

I woke up, startled and scrambling and eventually tumbling over the edge of my bed. There was a significant crash and then silence followed. Dead silence. For a second I didn't dare to breathe, listening to all the sounds around the lair. But when neither Leo, Don or Raph came in barging to check out the noise from my room, I knew I hadn't woken anyone.

Heck, not even Michelangelo came in. Shouting at me for interrupting his sleep. Though he was probably training once again, or roaming the city.

I tiredly rubbed my eyes, my heart beating quickly from the dream. My family, my bros were in it. But only for a short period of time. Just a flash of them, or maybe I just didn't remember them anymore. Groaning I slowly walked to my bed again, but I stopped when I saw the digital watch next to my bed. It was only 9 PM.

For a second I was confused why I was already in bed right now, but then I remembered why. Maybe not sleeping the previous night hadn't exactly been a good idea, instead of sleeping I had kept thinking about how I should make up with Leo after I blew up on him. But at least I had talked everything out, and me and Leo were buds again. And hey, I managed until dinner to keep my eyes open.

I looked back at the digital clock again, displaying 21:01.

My stomach turned slightly, this would be the time we'd have our meditation session. Because dad had always deemed it fair for us to have one morning off. One morning we could just relax. Which would always backfire in the evening, training and meditation till 9 PM. The fifth day I was here, and I already wanted to go back so badly. I missed them so much.

And that dream certainly didn't help.

Still I was left wondering why Raph had shown up so… persistent, and so real. The rest of them were acting really odd, like a dream would act. But Raph was weirded out or something, confused. His eyes had turned to me, green eyes growing impossibly wide. And that's when I had woken up, gracefully tumbling to the ground in wild panic.

I sighed, climbing into my bed once again. But 'my' wasn't really proper terminology. Since it wasn't mine, it was merely a bed used for guests. Nothing here was mine, and at the same time everything was mine. Everything belonged to Michelangelo, but I wasn't the Michelangelo it belonged to.

I curled myself up, wrapping the blanket around myself like a cocoon and shutting my eyes tight. Wishing I could just go home.

TMNT

Okay I had this perfect idea of this weird timeline, where you think it corresponds with the other dimension but it turning out it's a complete different day. But reading the last chapter again I discovered it'd be too complicated. So I fixed it this chapter. If it wasn't clear, the last chapter with the 2k12 dimension is in the future. (Day 11 right now, day 8 Splinter connected with Mikey, day 5 Raph connects with Mikey)

And the 2k3 dimension is on day 5 right now. So Mikey just had the 'dream' when he connected with Raph. Lol I hope it's clear right now.


	9. Chapter 9

"He gets them around once a month, sometimes more when he's stressed, sometimes less" Leo tells me, albeit reluctantly. I didn't bring it up, didn't mention it in any way, he started this particular conversation, still I could hear that he wasn't entirely happy while talking about it. Of course he wasn't! He was talking about his traumatised brother.

"How.. how do you deal with it? Like what do you do?"

Leo slowly skids to a halt, putting one foot on the edge of the building, which was slightly higher than the rest of the rooftop. His gaze was focused on the streets below, a few humans passing by occasionally. His jaw was set tightly and his blind eyes were taking in the sight like he could actually see them. Like he could actually see what was going on down there.

"We can't trap him in his own home, he isn't crazy. We don't know when it happens so most of the time we are too late." I slowly walk up to him, but still keeping a noticeable difference. "We can stop him most of the time but a few times he slipped past us."

I nodded absently, knowing exactly what he was talking about. One of those times was 5 days ago, when Don found me in the sewers. And maybe that wasn't even a bad thing. Otherwise I wouldn't've found them, and I would've been alone for all this time. I could be alone, that wasn't the problem. I was a ninja after all. But still… it was nice to have some sort of home, and a stable food supply.

"Raph and I talked about the situation. Don doesn't show it but he's under some pressure." Leo starts again, still not looking at me. As far as he could look. "You being here, and him being the only way to get you home. He's trying his best. But we fear it may push him over the edge, and give him another attack."

"But you can.. stop him right. Y'know, guard him, put on an alarm"

Leo sighs slightly. "We can, we tried. But we can't keep guarding him for days. It's just Raph and me. And we tried the alarms once, but we can't make them work without Donnie's help. So he'll know where they are, and how to avoid them"

I cast my head downwards. "I'm really sorry this happened to you Leo.. I can't imagine.." I start hesitantly. I had no idea what to say, or what to do in general. No matter how much I was welcomed, I was an outsider. Leo was right when we had that argument. I wasn't there when it happened, I couldn't possibly know how it felt to endure it. How it felt losing something like an eye or an eye.

Or even your sanity.

"It isn't your fault kiddo. None of this is. Now let's just get moving. We're almost there" True to his word Leo backs up a bit, gaining enough speed to jump over to the other building. I quickly follow him, accelerating until I was running next to him. It was obvious he was holding back regarding his speed, but we were in no hurry after all.

"So why did you come along with me? I know where April lives from the last time.." I start after a silent second, the question still burning to be answered.

"That wouldn't really be fair right? Why should you get answers when you don't want to tell me why you want to get to April?" Leo says, but it's clear that he's joking. And just playing with me.

"I told you.. it's a surprise for you. Besides, I don't even know if you'll like it" I retort, my stomach turning slightly. What if they really didn't like it, or what if it didn't work.

"Don't worry about that too much, it's the thought that counts" He responds, shrugging slightly. The rest of the journey is silent, and neither of us mind. It's nice to be out again, and I was slowly getting used to this _version_ of New York, this dimension's New York. It was different, same concept but just different. The buildings I remembered weren't like the ones that were here.

Besides, it was a beautiful night. There were no clouds and bright stars were shining, and the round moon was illuminating the sky.

Leo and I eventually reach the right building, but instead of going to the door, Leo lands on the balcony in front of a window. Though the window is open, clearly April expecting us, Leo doesn't enter. Instead he turns to me.

"I came to make sure you were okay. We lost Mikey once, I won't allow it a second time." His tone is dead-serious and I smile slightly, though the tears are already burning in my eyes. 5 days, 5 days was all it took for Leo to care enough to go with me on this short trip. Even when the city was as safe as it could be, even when I wasn't really family.

He cared, and you could see it in his eyes.

"Thanks Leo.. that means a lot" I respond, and I grin when Leo flashes me a sly smile.

TMNT

"Casey's running a bit late I'm afraid. He should be here already, but there was some trouble on the way to the you-know-where" April announces, handing both Leo and me a cup of hot chocolate. I smile as a thank you, taking a small sip.

"That's okay April, and sorry for the trouble" I say softly April laughs, waving her hand in his direction slightly.

"No problem" She replies and sits down on a large chair. I send a quick glance towards Leo, who just sits still with a questionable look on his face. Clearly not knowing what we were talking about. Not weird considering I hadn't told him anything, not before I announced I was heading to April, or during the trip. Not even when we were already seated on the couch.

And I wasn't about to give it away before Casey was home with the surprise.

"Mikey" April eventually starts. "Did you think about what I said a few days ago?" This time the cheery attitude is gone, instead a serious one takes its place.

"I did" I admit, nodding my head slightly. "It's just hard y'know. I don't even know where to begin. I don't want to lose myself entirely" A silent _like Michelangelo_ following my statement. And it seems like Leo picks it up. From the way the grimaces slightly.

"No one expects you to in such a short period. But the begin is already there" At this I shoot her a questioning look.

"What do you mean the begin is already there? I'm still the same me"

"I can sense your aura Mikey. You're calmer, more in control than the first time you came here. It's a small change, but the first step is mostly the hardest" She explains to me like it's the most natural thing in the world.

"But I've tried changing before.. y'know after I messed something up. But it never worked. I always went back to the way I am now." I retort, taking another sip from my hot chocolate.

"Because your environment didn't allow you to. You couldn't change because you didn't have the freedom to do so. Now you're in a world where everything is .. well serious. This time you can afford to be serious, you can afford to drop all the jokes and fun" She tells me, giving me another smile.

I gape at her, not really knowing what to respond, fortunately Casey decides it's time to help out and I grin slightly when I hear the door shut.

"I'm back" Casey grins when he walks up the stairs, and in his arms, like I requested, a young puppy. A little over 3 months old and his tail wagging back and forth while happily taking in its surroundings. Casey smirks at my delighted face and the puppy let's out a small bark.

"You requested a dog?" Leo questions, almost hesitantly.

"A puppy actually" I respond, my voice almost as low as a whisper. "If that's okay with you of course. An acquaintance of April had a nest of puppies by accident. And they didn't want them, but they couldn't get rid of the last puppy. They've been raising her for 3 months, so if you don't want her Casey can give her back and all" The last part came out very fast, the speed matching my heartbeat.

"And what purpose would the dog have, why did you chose a dog of all things you could give?"

"Uhm.. well you explained that Don wanted a friend.. and April, _my April_ , told me that dogs are like the human's best friend.. so I thought that maybe if Don got a dog.. he wouldn't feel lonely and wouldn't take any more humans" I explained, the pace significantly slower than my last sentence.

Leo frowns, narrowing his eyes slightly.

"I doubt it'll work, but I think he'll love her" And soon a smile appeared on his face, and that was enough for me to know Leo was okay with this, with taking the puppy with us. And I really hoped my plan would work, it was the least I could do after all they had done. And to be fair, they deserved some positive news after everything they've been through.

TMNT

I really shouldn't've been surprised, I really shouldn't be. After all it was probably stupid, I was foolish to think it'd work. But I had hoped that it'd work. Because they deserved some peace. But a small dog would never stop Donnie from leaving the lair, wouldn't stop someone who had been locked away for so long from going crazy.

Of course it didn't work. Why did I even think that it would. Of course Raph and Leo, and maybe even Michelangelo, had tried to help Donnie with his attacks. Heck, even Don would've researched what was causing all of this, he would try to find a way to stop himself from going out from time to time. He would find the trigger for his attacks.

So why was I even trying?

I knew it wasn't going to work, and yet I still asked Casey to get the dog. I gave it to Donnie like I planned. He was happy with the puppy, immediately loved it. It was something getting used to but the dog had already been trained for a while. So that wasn't the problem. Donnie loved her. He wasn't mad at me for getting the puppy, he thanked me.

Even Raph was okay with the puppy. Michelangelo.. wasn't there the whole day. So I had no idea what he thought of the puppy. And for the following three days he wasn't around either. Or I was just gone when he met the little puppy, quickly dubbed Etsuko. A Japanese name that was creating from the words Etsu, joy, and Ko, child.

And of course it had been for their father, who came from Japan, and after all they had been raised like they were Japanese.

It was foolish to hope, but I quickly found myself doing it; hoping. Hoping that it'd all work out the way I planned it. Because for a moment it looked like it would.

"He's gone" That was eventually the sentence that did it. The sentence that confirmed that it really didn't work out the way I wanted to. And why I was sitting against the sewer wall right now.

"How long.. does it usually take for him to be back?" I whisper softly. Looking up to Raph and Leo, both standing at the entrance of the lair with emotionless looks on their faces.

"It differs.. mostly around 4 hours" Raph replies, not taking his eyes of the entrance. I could see the fatigue resting on his face, even if his mask covers it up. Had they been like this when I came here as well? Were they this tired just 8 days ago? I didn't remember, and maybe I did but I'd been too focused on my own problems back then.

 _4 hours._ That was the time he'd been gone. And the worst thing was that Etsuko was gone as well. I don't even why she had followed him. _Or did Don take her?_

"Mikey, you should go to bed. You're tired" That wasn't what Leo wanted to say. It was true, I was tired. I had woken up in the middle of the night, hearing that Donnie had walked away again. But that wasn't the reason Leo was trying to send me away. He didn't want me to see. _If_ he brought back another human that is. And he waited until I was tired to use the excuse.

If he'd have used it earlier, it'd be too obvious.

"I'm fine Leo.. it's not like I haven't seen a dead body in my life before" I mutter, my voice surprisingly free from emotion.

"Don't be stupid kid, everyone's affected by a dead body" Raph shoots back, looking down at me. I sigh, brining my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around it, my shell scraping against the sewer wall from the movement.

"Raph's right, you don't need to prove yourself like this" Leo cuts in, finally turning his head towards me. But before he can continue his gaze shoots back to its original point. "He's coming."

"Mikey get out" Raph hisses at me, and I know he only wants to protect me, avoid me seeing anything. So I don't get offended and does as he tells me to. My stomach twists violently as the first sob breaks through the silence. I easily climb up one of the pillars to the first-floor, but even despite Raph's warning, and despite the urge to vomit right now, I turn around.

Crouching down, knees bent and hands in between them to look over the edge of the floor, looking down on the three brothers. And a weird sense of déjà vu washes over me. Raph was holding Donnie close, hugging him close. And Donnie was just standing there, his eyes wide open and tears streaming down his face, completely frozen.

There was a woman in Leo's arms, her back pressed against his plastron and heavily trashing. Twisting and beating Leo to get out of his grip. To escape. To get out of here alive.

 _Etsuko nowhere to be seen._

"Moushiwake gozaimasen"

And I turned around, avoiding to see her getting killed. But I still heard his voice.

"Kaimyō _"_ The sound of sword cutting through tender flesh. "Gomeifuku wo inorimasu"

 _Silence_.

...

* * *

Moushiwake gozaimasen: I'm sorry. Basically when you screwed up really bad.

Kaimyō: A phrase used at funerals in Japan. The name is said to prevent the return of the deceased if the name of said deceased is called.

Gomeifuki wo inorimasu: We pray for your happiness in the next world.


	10. Chapter 10

To say that my theory worked out would be a lie. It was foolish after all, as said many times. Of course buying a puppy wouldn't work, wouldn't solve something like that. Because Don's brothers had already tried everything possible. A pup wouldn't solve the attacks he had so often after everything they have been through in the past years.

But in my defence, it wasn't completely useless either.

Of course nothing excuses the dead body now floating through the sewers, a young woman who still had a long life ahead of her. And maybe nothing would be able to help Donnie from getting those attacks again, but he changed in these last 4 days. I saw it the first night after he snuck out again, and took that girl into the sewers.

The ninth day, a day after Don's attack and 2 days from today, and Donnie was evidently cheering up, he was more open and smiled more than I've seen him smile. And in return, that also affected Raph and Leo, in a positive way that is. It was hard to explain, and the changes were minimal but they were both more relaxed. Neither of them like a normal teen would be. Or rather an adult, since they were all 21.

But still they were too young to experience all of this. Death, murder, PTSD.

So It was nice to see them relax like that. One of the reasons I was reluctant to leave that night. But they deserved some time all together. Just the three of them relaxing. Leo probably figured out that I didn't leave because I was tired, but neither of us said anything. Either way I had already seen the movie countless times, so I let them have this movie night for now.

Only wishing Michelangelo was there as well. Huddled together in some messed up pile of limbs and shells. I guess that was too much to ask for.

 _Like heck I wouldn't try._

"You're nuts Mikey. Absolutely nuts" Raph snorted, emphasising the second last word. Putting emphasis on the completely ridiculous, and most of all dangerous, plan.

"And yet you can't stop me guys, it's worth a shot right?" I retort.

"It's too much of a risk, it's worth a shot, but not the risk" Leo's voice is still calm, so in contrast with Raph's. And with some twisted happiness I realise Raph is starting to become more like my Raph… probably even the Raph he was before this.

"It is Leo.. I can.. I may not be as trained as you guys.. but I can hold my ground."

"I know you can Mikey.. And you know that's not why we don't approve" Leo groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"What fearless is tryin' ta say is that yer intentions are good. But yer still an idiot" Raph cuts in. "And like hell we gonna let ya do this"

"You're not the boss over me guys.. I get what you're saying.. but I'm the only one who can do this" I try another time.

"The keyword being _can._ There is a possibility-"

"And maybe I'm ready to take that chance Leo! I can't just sit here and wait. I won't be able to leave you guys without at least trying" And that sentence does it, all anger vanishes from Raph's stance, and even Leo seems to hesitate for a few second.

Though of course I shouldn't've expected him to hesitate for too long.

"I appreciate it Mikey.. really" He says, putting a hand on my shoulder. I wince slightly, looking up in his dull blue eyes. "It's just not worth the risk okay?" Our eyes lock for a moment, which sounds so cruel considering the dull colour in his eyes. Once displaying beautiful bright colours, indicating full vision. But at the same time it wasn't.

He wasn't completely blind after all. Colours and small details had been stolen from his sight, but shadows and shapes weren't. So he knew where to look. And he knew I was staring as well. The only thing he couldn't know was the fact that I was biting my lip in hesitation. Something Raph could unfortunately pass onto him later on.

"Kid.. it's not worth it. Please tell me you won't do it? It would be cruel if Michelangelo would be the one.." He stops, but he doesn't need to continue for me to understand what he is saying. And I know. Going up against Michelangelo is like having a death wish, problem was that I was incredibly stubborn. But I wasn't completely stupid.

"I… I will sleep about it okay? I just want to help you. It's worth a shot guys. I know.. well _me_ the best here. Maybe I can get through to him."

"Y'are not listening are ya bonehead?" Raph cuts in, solemnly concern laced in his voice. "It's not worth it, not ever after a night sleep. Yer not doing it Mikey. Got it?"

I look down again, rubbing my knees anxiously and practically feeling the burn of their eyes on me. Waiting just as anxiously as me for an answer. A reassurance that I wouldn't challenge Michelangelo like I had suggested at the start of the conversation.

"Maybe not.. I just can't sit around and do nothing y'know?" I bite my lip again, not daring to look up. "But I won't do it for now okay?" I slowly stand up, looking up to them to look them in their eyes. _Seriously why were they so much taller than I am?_

"I'm going to start dinner, see if Don wants to help" I announce, strolling out of Leo's room but not quite jumping down the ledge to find Don.

There is a short pause, a short moment of silence. Then..

"He's still gonna do it, ain't he?" A sigh comes from Leo.

"Of course he is. But we'll just have to be near the dojo tomorrow, or ask Don to install something. So we can interfere once things go bad."

"Straight to hell ya mean." Raph snorts. "But yea.. knowing Mikey he is surely gonna do something stupid. Honestly, I admire his want to help but it's just foolish. Did ya see the last time Michelangelo fought 'im? He doesn't stand a chance"

"Oh he knows. No insult to him. Judging by what I've seen he has a lot of potential, he just hasn't unlocked it. There's no way he can last long, and he knows it. He just hopes he can get through to him"

Raph snickers dryly. Knowing too well it's not really the appropriate time to be laughing.

"Figures both of them would be hardheads. Both impossible to get through" A little hint of sadness is present in his voice despite the playful banter of the sentence. "C'mon, let's see if Donnie has some nerd stuff in his lab to make some alarm. With any luck we can install them tonight when the kid is sleeping"

 _Little did they know I would've long done it when they found what they were looking for._ Of course I wasn't going to do it tomorrow, I knew myself better than they did. So instead of going up to my room, or make dinner like I promised to, I headed for the dojo. I wasn't gullible or anything.

I knew I was being stupid, but it had never stopped me before, so why would it now? This time was different though. If the different dimension wasn't already a dead give-away. This time it wasn't a stupid action to make my bros laugh, this time it was an action to prove something. I wanted, no needed, something to prove.

To Leo and Raph.

To save this family. Because I couldn't be here without trying to help. Even if it meant I would do something stupid, or something that would endanger my own life. If it worked, it could help them, and that's what counted here. Even if Leo was being a complete idiot, he was right about something in that conversation that morning. We were family in a way. Very distant cousins, but still family.

And family helped each other.

So that's why I pushed through, ignoring the nagging feeling and the constant screams in my head saying _don't do it, don't be stupid._ I ignored all of it as I slid open the Shōji, walking inside of the dojo. My nun chucks were burning in my holsters, and I was ready to get them, defend myself if I had to, and I would need them.

"What the fuck do you want?" Michelangelo sneered, stopping in the middle of a round of katas to look at the intruder, me.

"I want to spar with you"

"Don't make me laugh idiot" Michelangelo sneered, turning his shell towards me again and continuing the kata's he was practicing. Still I held my ground, reaching into my belt and throwing a ninja star at him. As predicted he turned around in a blink of an eye, catching the sharp object in between his fingers with little effort.

"You're dead" Is the only warning I get before he runs forwards, nun chuck out and swinging at me at full speed.

He's on top of me before I can even react properly and the handle of his nun chuck scrapes my arm, sending shooting pain up my arm, travelling through the rest of my body. My eyes widen, jumping out of the way hastily to avoid getting one to my head. Because the next swing is directly at my head.

And it barely misses.

"Is that all you got?"

Okay, so maybe it didn't sound as tough as I thought it would be. With pain and exhaustion, already, lacing my voice. But at least I managed to say the sentence. And fortunately for me, or unfortunately for my health, it worked.

"You wish" A shudder involuntarily rolls down my spine. His voice is so deep, filled with so much hate and anger. And he lunges at me again, and I barely managed to duck, taking out my own weapons in the process.

"You won't kill me Michelangelo" I shout, whipping out my nun chuck to hit him, but before I can even reach him it collides with his nun chuck.

"I can." He hisses, jerking me close to him. "And I will" A strong kick is delivered to my plastron and I can see blood flying out of my mouth, my breath leaving me all together.

"I know you won't" I gasp, dodging another attack. Though a kick followed soon after, and a shooting pain courses through my arm, the same arm as before. I groan, fingers trembling and begging to let go of the weapon.

"I will kill you!" He hisses, jumping at me again and wrapping his chuck around mine, tearing it from my trembling fingers in one go. My weapon scatters a few meters, and then hits the wall with a harsh thud. My eyes widen, pushing back the obvious regret of my actions _. No time to think about that now. Stick with the plan._

"You won't.. because you don't want to hurt your family any more"

A second. That's all he gives me, that's all the surprise he gives me. That's all the time he gives me to prepare for the strong kick to my already hurting arm. I cry out, my left arm shooting towards the injured arm. The skin is warm under my touch.

"More? MORE?!" He screams. "What the fuck are you talking about?! What the fuck are you applying?!"

I look at him, dodging a powerful kick coming towards me. I jump out of the way but I'm not fast enough to dodge another one. His knee painfully connects with my cheek, seconds later followed by a strong kick to my groin.

 _Cheap_. I grumble inwards.

I glare at him, spitting out the blood that was forming in my mouth.

"I was talking about the time you managed to blind Leonardo. I was applying that it is _your_ fault Raph has lost an eye."

"That. Wasn't. my. Fault" He grits out, but the small crack in his mask is visible. He's affected by my words..

"You didn't pay attention, you goofed off Michelangelo! You managed to get Don captured. You're the reason all of those people are dead, the reason your own brother is now suff-"

Another kick connects with my plastron, knocking me backwards and sends me flying against the wall. I groan, sparks of pain shooting up my shell. My heart jumps slightly. Injuries to the shell were bad.. very bad. Don, my Don, told us several times. How our shells could protect us, but once damaged it could cause serious injuries to our spines.

 _Avoiding the shell_. I think grimly. Jumping out of the way for another swing of his chuck.

"It's all your fault. If you had only paid attention!" I scream, my body trembling from exhaustion and pain.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" Michelangelo screams, sending the chuck towards me. My eyes widen, my body reacting a second too late and I jump. Guess people weren't joking about having memories and flashes in these moments, because that was exactly what I was having right now. The very first thing Master Splinter taught us when we learned how to do flips and jumps.

And I completely threw it away.

But in my defence, it was that or getting hit with a nun chuck at full speed. Which would've surely crushed my plastron.

The moment my left foot hits the ground I freeze and my head snaps back. An agonising scream leaves my mouth and I crumble to the ground. Body spasming with pain. Pain shoots up my body with every pump of the heart, my left foot being the source. I sob pitifully, rolling onto my knees _. I had to move.. I couldn't sit here. Michelangelo.._

My eyes widen, and I can barely roll away from a chuck coming at me. Wood splinters around me and I sob, agonising pain coming from my left foot and I look at it. Immediately it was starting to swell, and I curse. Either broken or sprained. And I so hoped it was the latter.

"Michelangelo stop!" I scream, voice laced with pain as he raises his chuck again. And I'm rooted in place.. but before he could bring the weapon down a blur of green shoots past me. And it takes a few seconds for me to realise it's Leo. Closely followed by Raph and Don.

"Michelangelo enough! Stand down!" Leo screams, tightening his hold on Michelangelo's arm, while Raph has the other side, trying to get hold of the stump. Don whips out his bo, standing in front of me. Defending me.

"NO!" He spats, looking at me with venom in his eyes. "You will pay for this. You better run you useless idiot. I will kill you" He screams.

"Raph, knock him out before he does something stupid!" Leo yells, groaning to keep Michelangelo contained.

"No!" I yell, causing everybody, except for Michelangelo, to stare at me. No, Michelangelo is still looking at me with venom in his eyes, ready to kill me.

"Mikey?" Don whispers, glancing back at me with uncertainty.

"Michelangelo. I know.. well I don't know. I won't ever be able to. But I get what you're going through." I start, biting my lip. "I know you feel guilty for what you've done. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure that out .. well you're me, I should know because it's how I deal with things. Just not this extreme"

And much to my surprise Michelangelo's struggle seizes, just a tiny bit, barely noticeable, but it's something. The others are quiet, watching the interaction of me and Michelangelo.

"I get it now.. why you shield yourself, how you lost yourself like that. And I'm sorry that happened to-"

"You don't know anything about me" Michelangelo hisses, eyes narrowing.

"I do. I am you remember? I am you, stupid and naïve you before that one night.. And I get what you're going through. I won't ever be able to compare it, I know, but I get your behaviour. More than anyone can ever understand."

His struggle seizes completely.

"Don't shut them out, please. I know you want to. And honestly I would do the same because it's something I did multiple times. And I know you did as well. Just never this extreme." I mumble, pushing back the bile that was slowly rising as the pain continued to increase.

"I know you hate yourself for all of these last years. And you think you are the one to blame for your father's death, for Leo's blindness, and Raph's eye.. and Don's attacks. And I know I've said it was your fault, but like I said. I am you, I know what makes me break… so I knew that lying to you would make you break… but it's not true okay? You're not the one to blame. You don't deserve that."

The venomous gaze that was still on his face the whole time I was talking disappears. A slow but steady movement until his eyes are fully rested.

A few seconds pass.

The slow tremble slowly increases, so unnoticeable I barely see it.

Another few seconds.

His legs start to tremble, his eyes locking with mine. His dull blue eyes meeting my bright ones. Both clouded with pain. One emotional and one physically. One originating from a few minutes ago, another one holding pain from 3 full years of guilt.

And he sinks to his knees. Leo blinks for a second before he reaches out, completely releasing the arm he was holding him with, restraining him from killing me. Strong arms wrap around Michelangelo's shaking form.

And a single tear is pushed out of his eyes. A single tear, that's all he allows to slip.

But it's enough to show all the guilt that has been stored all those years.

Crushing him from the inside.


	11. Chapter 11

"Leo over here!"

"Did you find him?"

"No but he has definitely been here, we're getting closer" Raph answers, sprinting off again, Leo following seconds after.

"Just be quick guys.. we don't know what he'll do in this state."

"Thanks Brainiac, never thought of that" Raph replies sarcastically, and I was sure he was doing some kind of eye roll right now.

"Well you can't blame me, I'm stressed out okay?" Don retorts.

"We all are Don, just focus on Mikey right now. We'll find Michelangelo" Leo says, surprisingly still calm, or as calm as he could be. Because his attitude didn't take away the fact that Michelangelo had run away the moment he started crying, if 'letting a single tear slip' could be considered crying that is, because that was all he allowed to show.

Not seconds after that single tear had slipped he had run away, storming out of the lair before anyone of us could stop him, prevent him from going out alone. Not like there was any serious threat anymore out there, but in this state he could do a lot of damage, or a lot of damage could be done to him. Not to mention the little progress we had just managed to make.

Make Michelangelo show his true emotions.

"Yea yea.. " Don mumbles, walking over to me. "I keep the line open, tell us whenever you find something"

Don hands me an ice-pack and I flash him a grateful smile. "Thanks" I say, putting it on top of my throbbing head. Don snorts and flicks just in between my eyes with his forefinger. "Auw" I mumble, slapping away his arm. Immediately a bolt of pain shoots up my left arm and I lower said limb again, glaring at Donnie.

"You're still an idiot and you totally deserved that" Don retorts and scoots over an extra chair to sit across me. "But that was really brave y'know. Though still really-"

"I know, I know. Leo and Raph already gave me that lecture before I confronted Michelangelo" I cut him off.

Donnie grimaces slightly and shakes his head. "Stubborn as always" He mumbles under his breath.

"We tried Brainiac. Kid's skull is as dense as Michelangelo's" Raph calls out from the other side of the line.

"Gee thanks Raph" I mutter back, but a smile is tugging at my lips. Partially because I know Raph. It's a sign that he cares, he's worried because of Michelangelo running away and me being stupid with going up against him.

"What's the diagnosis Don? He's gonna be okay right?" Leo intervenes.

"If you'd let me work.." Don snorts, reaching down and carefully picking up my left leg. Still an involuntarily hiss escapes my mouth as a jolt of pain shoots through my injured limb.

"You're lucky you didn't break your ankle while doing that stunt" Don says, poking and prodding at my ankle slightly before putting an ice-pack on it. "Forget your ankle, you should be glad that Michelangelo didn't straight up kill you"

"Trust me, I am" I say, offering my right arm so Don could assess the damage. "So.. what _did_ he do?"

"No broken bones at least, a grade two sprain at worst and bruises." He tells me, dropping my arm and tipping my face to the side. Carefully his fingers ghost over my cheek, where Michelangelo's knee had hit me.

"Yup, that's definitely gonna bruise, sucks to be you right now" Don grins, directing the ice-pack from my head to my cheek.

"Thanks Don, love you too" I mutter playfully and Don returns the smile.

"At least you don't have a concussion. Just a headache for a day or two. Besides that you're fine. How you managed to do that will always be a mystery to me."

"He isn't the bad guy or anything, if that's what you're suggesting. He wouldn't've killed me"

Don stares at me with a dubious look on his face. "Then how do you wanna explain him attacking you?"

"Can you blame him? He tried so hard to change and be accepted by you guys. And then his old self comes here and ruins all the hard work he's done. Growing up, removing the silliness from training. And I brought it right back." I say, watching closely as Don applies some cooling substance on my arm. "He wanted to protect you guys" I add shyly.

"What about this time? This fight?" Don asks, but there is no accusation in his voice, just curiosity. Sheer curiosity to figure out his own little brother.

"I confronted him, I was a threat to him. But once I started confronting him by what he did to you guys he just snapped. He just tried to hide his emotions. I.. I used to do it as well. I mean I did the same thing back home. I used to joke and smile whenever the guys came too close. He did the same thing but he couldn't joke himself out of the situation. So he.. well .. y'know"

Don nods in understanding, wrapping a bandage around my upper arm.

"There he is, down below!" Raph suddenly rasps out, startling both me and Don. My gaze immediately shoots towards the radio on the table next to us but unfortunately there is no video so we couldn't see what was happening right now.

"Do you see him? Is he okay?" Don shouts.

"For now" Raph mutters.

"Raph listen. Don't do anything stupid okay? He's.. confused.. just be there for him?" I shout into the radio. Leo and Raph are heard jumping down and they slow down slightly, the sound of the wind dies out completely and they are officially in some kind of alley right now.

"Any deaths?" Don mumbles upon hearing the first grunt of pain. Luckily not coming from Michelangelo but from another human presumably.

"No blood, hopefully just unconscious. Michelangelo!" Raph shouts, causing the sound of fist hitting flesh to stop.

"Get lost" Michelangelo growls back before a loud crack is heard. The man whimpers slightly and is closely followed by a dull thud, body hitting the ground.

"Michelangelo, we are not going anywhere."

Michelangelo grows, another punch is heard over the radio. "I'm not going to okay? I fucking don't cry" He shouts back and a quiet groan echoes through the radio before another thud is heard.

"You don't have to Mikey, nobody is forcing you. Just.. just let us know what you feel okay?" Leo tries.

"Yea, we fucked up okay? But give us a chance to fix it" Raph butts in.

"Damnit guys! You're not the ones supposed to fix this! It was all me okay?!" Michelangelo shouts back.

"Otouto- " Leo starts hesitantly.

"Don't fucking call me that!" Michelangelo shouts back. "You can't… I .. I'm not.."

"You are bro. No matter what shit ya did, yer still our –" And that's when I shut off the radio, cutting of the connection between the guys and Don and me. The latter looks at me with confusion.

"I wouldn't've liked it if someone would listen to this" I whisper. Michelangelo was breaking down. And since he couldn't know that we were listening, it'd be unfair for us to listen along. I would be pissed if it were to happen to me. So I shut it off, Michelangelo would tell us, Don, when and if he wanted to do so. And not because we were eavesdropping.

Don seems to understand and flashes me an hesitant smile before he focuses on my ankle again. Both waiting for the guys to come home, with Michelangelo.

TMNT

They did. It had been an hour since they had found Michelangelo. Don was in his lab working and I was sitting on the couch, mindlessly watching television. My left foot was on top a table in front of me, heavily wrapped up in bandages. It was sprained and I would need to stay off of it for a couple of days, but after that I'd be fine.

"Hey, you okay?" Was the first thing Leo asks me, putting a hand on my shoulder. I twist around, looking at the blue cladded turtle.

"Where's Michelangelo?' I ask, completely ignoring Leo's question. The latter grimaces slightly and points towards the entrance, where Michelangelo hesitantly, and also shortly makes his appearance. He doesn't look around and immediately climbs up one of the pillars, disappearing into his bedroom. I grimace slightly, watching him disappear.

But what'd I expect? For him to be well all of a sudden?

"How'd it go?"

Leo sighs at the question, sitting down on the armrest of the couch.

"He.. well…. he opened up. Told us a few things, but they were really vague. He isn't ready yet to tell us everything and open up completely but.."

"It's something" I finish his sentence and Leo nods.

"It is. He promised he'd work on it, but he expected some space in return. Said he needed some time alone" Leo eyes at me carefully, seriously, sometimes I'd forgot that he wasn't completely blind. "Do you know how long..?" He stops himself in the middle of the sentence. But I already knew what he was going to ask.

Unfortunately I didn't have the answer.

"I have no idea Leo. I've never dealt with things like this. I'd say a few days but .. y'know." I reply, scratching the back of my neck. "I was never confronted like that."

Leo's face relaxes slightly, an almost apologising smile on his face. "You should. Once you get home that is. You've seen what it does, it's time to change something"

"Yea.. I suppose" I mumble back. "Leo..?"

"What's wrong?" Leo answers, looking at me with confusion. And I almost laugh at his worried expression.

"Do I bother you.. I mean by being here. Do I bother you?" Leo's face softens again.

"If you're asking me if you're still welcome then you're an idiot." Leo retorts. "Of course you're welcome. You're family." I grin at the comment.

"Thanks Leo. I guess I needed that" I say, reaching for my crutches. "I'm gonna see Don real quick and then I'm gonna make some dinner. We still haven't eaten yet."

"And who's fault was that?" Leo butts in, helping me with positioning my crutches. I had to use them once before and I never liked it back then, so this was definitely going to be a fun time with these things. I stuck out my tongue at the comment before walking over to Donnie's lab. I could sense Leo following me but I didn't really mind him doing so.

It was his house after all, and besides, he would need to know eventually.

"Hey Don?" I call out when I enter the lab, making my way over to the corner.

"Is your ankle hurting?" He immediately ask and I roll my eyes, of course he'd think that. Of course he'd be concerned about my sprained ankle.

"Not even close. I'm fine. I just wanted to ask you where that machine was you've been working on" I say, causing Don to frown in confusion and pity.

"It's.. not finished yet Mikey. It isn't strong enough to transport you or any living organism to another dimension"

"But it's capable of transportation small objects right?"

Don frowns again. "It would use up all the energy Mikey. Why are you even asking this? What are you planning?"

"I want to send my family something. To let them know I'm okay" I reply, sitting down on the spare chair.

"It's possible but it would take days for the crystal to get to the current energy level. It could even shatter in the process. It would prolong your time here either way"

I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly. "Yea.. about that" I mumble. There's a short silence and then a smile forms on Leo's face. He walks over to me and puts a hand on my shoulder again.

"If you're really sure" He tells me and I flash him a smile. Leave it to Leo to figure it out.

"Hold up! What is going on?!" Donnie exclaims, utterly confused by what has happened just seconds ago.

"I want to stay a little longer.. if that's okay with every one of you. This is the only time I can grow up, find my own self. And it would be foolish to throw that away. But my family must be worried sick, I want to send them a message" I explain shortly to him and just as Leo Don smiles.

"Of course you can stay here, as long as you want." He agrees and I smile, reaching for my belt and pulling out a piece of paper.

"I already wrote the message, can you make sure they get it?" I ask shyly, handing over the paper.

"Of course" Don nods, taking the paper but not quite walking away. "I'm really proud little bro. I think this can really help you, find your true self." Then he walks away with the note. And there is no going back right now. Not like I wanted to go back. I had made my decision. Leo had been right, this was my change to find out who I really was.

My true self as Don put it.

"I'll order some pizza, doubt anyone's interested in cooking right now" Leo butts in and I laugh. "Once you're healed you will be joining our training and patrols. Hopefully you'll find your place"

Then he walks away and I smile again. "I hope so too" I mumble, looking at Don as he powers up the machine. A small purple triangle appears, similar to the one the Kraang use, but barely big enough to fit a hand. Donnie glances at me and I nod. That's all he needs before he pushes the paper through the portal and seconds later glass is heard shattering, a little bit of smoke coming from the machine.

But I can't get myself to care.

TMNT

 _Hey guys, I know you're probably worried and all but I'm fine. I'll tell you everything once I get back, and I will, it will just take a little while. But I'm okay, and I found a place to stay so don't worry 'kay? I miss you guys, be back soon._

 _Love, Mikey._


	12. Chapter 12

No clouds, no rain, none. Just the full moon and the stars looking upon us. A smile was constantly on my face, I felt free, jumping from rooftop to rooftop like that. And at the same time I felt like an idiot. Smiling like I was experiencing something incredible, something that only happens once in a life time. Turns out that it wasn't, it was just an ordinary patrol.

But it still felt incredible.

"You're in a good mood tonight" Leo calls out, causing me to skid to a stop, the smile turns into a smirk and I turn around.

"Aren't I always?" I reply with a snicker. Leo sighs in fake annoyance and shakes his head.

" _Really_ happy" He says, emphasising the 'really'. Because I wasn't happy before, I was from the inside, but not from the inside.

"Wasn't that the whole plan?" I throw back at him. "C'mon" I yell, turning around and running away again. Soon I can hear footsteps following me over the rooftops and the same stupid smile appears on my face again. I willed my legs to go faster, jumping over every rooftop with ease. I let out a laugh, the wind rushing past me.

10 minutes later, after stopping two robberies, I found myself standing at the ledge of the building, staring at the sky above me.

"Aren't you happy?" Leo asks, raising his voice a little but it wasn't out of anger. It was disbelieve. And I sigh at his comment, the statement still fresh in my mind. But I already knew the information, I just choose to ignore it. It was easier that way. But Leo knew that I had to confront it one day, preferably very soon.

 _"_ _Donnie almost finished the portal"_

"I am happy Leo, I want to go back home.." I say, sitting down on the edge of the rooftop. "It's just… " I start, biting my lip softly with hesitation.

"I dream about home every night, I see their faces, I see dad. And I always think about how much they'd miss me. I want to go back so badly every day. To see them again but…" I take a deep breath, ignoring Leo shuffling closer to me. "I've changed Leo, and I'm not sure if they'll like the new me"

There was a short, soft and barely noticeable, intake of breath. But then Leo breathes out a laugh, walking up to me and sitting down on the same roof, barely an inch apart.

"You're worried that they aren't going to like you?"

"Exactly! I couldn't change in the past because… they counted on me to crack jokes." I turn to him, a frown on my face. "In case you haven't noticed it Leo, I haven't cracked a joke in these past 3 weeks."

"You haven't, and we haven't fallen apart either. We've tolerated you so far" Leo retorts, and I huff slightly, turning away from him.

"That's just because you're insufferable" I mumble, knowing full well that Leo still heard it.

"Ouch little bro" Leo grins, punching my shoulder lightly. "I'm a grown man, you're not"

I let out an exaggerated sigh. "You're 5 years older than me, heck you've only been allowed to drink for 5 months now" I exclaim before I calm down a bit, my eyes narrowing slightly. "Where is this conversation going?"

"I don't know, you tell me" Leo grins at me and this time I'm the one punching the shoulder. "But in all seriousness, I get where you're coming from but you're still their little brother. They'll like you" he says, nudging my shoulder slightly.

I sigh, hanging my head low. "I thought I knew them Leo.. but right now I have no idea how they're gonna react" there is a short silence and Leo firmly plants his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it softly.

"It's something getting used to, and obviously you're still searching but you're still _you_ , just a little different. But they will still love you. I promise"

 _TMNT_

 _"_ _Again" Leo says sternly, standing there with arms crossed._

 _"_ _Oh c'mon, we've been at it for an hour" I whine, struggling to my feet. Leo just gives me a dubious look and I quickly oblige, getting to my feet in a record time._

 _"_ _You can walk out of here anytime soon" He tells me and Raph immediately leans towards me._

 _"_ _I wouldn't do that. My muscles are still dying from the punishment fearless gave me 4 months ago for pulling that stunt" He tells me with a snicker and I groan in response, getting ready once again. My feet firmly planted on the dojo floor._

 _"_ _Can you at least tell me what I do wrong? Last time I checked I landed just like you did" I say, crossing my arms at Leo._

 _"_ _You weren't fluent, in real battle you would've been caught" He tells me and I throw my hands in the air._

 _"_ _How did you even..!" I yell in fake-annoyance but I don't actually finish my sentence. "Besides my jump was just fine."_

 _"_ _If you insist" Leo shrugs, crouching down slightly, ready to attack. "Onegai Shimasu" He yells, and charges at me. Really he wasn't even trying, he wasn't even giving all he had. And I jumped, just like I had practiced over the last hour. And within a second of being airborne I felt something connect with my plastron. I gasp, landing harshly on the ground and coming to a stop._

 _"_ _It's not fluent" Leo says with unquestionable authority and I groan, coming to my feet once again._

 _"_ _Then tell me Leo! I know that you're hiding the answer from me, you want me to figure it out for myself but I don't know okay?! I don't know, I didn't know an hour ago, and I still don't know it 'kay?" I yell, my fingers itching with frustration. In front of me Leo sighs and walks up to me. He waits for a second and I stare at him, before he puts a comforting hand on my shoulder._

 _"_ _You know this move" He states and I nod, a little annoyed right now._

 _"_ _Yea, dad taught us when we were 9. But apparently I'm not doing it right, and that's why you're trying to teach me" I mutter._

 _"_ _Not just this move" He states, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "You learned this move when you were 9, it's a simple yet effective technique, if used properly."_

 _"_ _You know.. " I mumble. "Why won't you tell me? I thought you wanted to help me get better"_

 _"_ _You've only been training with us for 4 days Mikey, don't expect change to soon" He tells me. "Clearly you have a lot of things to work on. Everyone is different Mikey, everyone's a different ninja. During sparring you can see that Don's offensive attacks are different than Raph's. Or even mine."_

 _"_ _But what does that have to do with me?"_

 _"_ _Everyone has a different style Mikey. The technique you're using is taught by Splinter, and you haven't made it yours yet. It doesn't fit you. It's too controlled, and you're thinking about it too much. I bet you even have some kind of song or melody to perform the kata" I frown at him, it was true what he said but it still confused the heck out of me._

 _"_ _Me? Thinking too much?" I ask in disbelief and Raph snickers from the side-line._

 _"_ _I couldn't believe it either squirt" He laughs and I glare at him._

 _"_ _Stop thinking about it, find your way to perform those kata's." Leo tells me, completely ignoring my question, or Raph's comment. He takes his hand off my shoulder, taking a few steps back. "Don't think too much about it, just follow what feels right." He tells me, getting ready to attack me._

 _"_ _Again"_

TMNT

Don't get me wrong, I was still worried sick. Anxious if Don could actually create a machine that would bring me back, if my family even received the letter in the first place, never being able to see this family again, my family, and me having changed over the last three weeks. I was still feeling all of it, but it had been pushed down.

Joy and pride dominating the fear.

Everyone, minus Michelangelo, was sitting around the table. April had cooked us dinner, a big one because we didn't know when would be the last one. Don almost finished the portal and once it proved to be working.. well y'know. So we decided to have one big dinner. Everyone minus Michelangelo was there, a new family.

Well except Angel, who was already sleeping in the room next door. Shadow however was definitely joining the dinner, and for some reason she had chosen me as her chair. Y'know, instead of Donnie, instead of her 'favourite uncle'. But in her defence, even she knew the reason behind the dinner. And she was smart enough to put two and two together.

Two hours later, when everyone had finished dinner, Leo, Raph, Donnie and Casey all got ready for patrol, but I didn't feel like going tonight. I had been on patrol for three whole weeks right now. It was different to say at least. Serious.. no jokes were cracked throughout the night. But we kept the city safe. Albeit from muggers and robbers, but still.

"Why didn't you go?" April asks me, walking back into the living room with a sleeping Angel in her arms. I shrug slightly, doing my best not to jostle Shadow too much.

"I didn't feel like it. I'm sure Leo told you about our conversation" I reply and April nods, sitting down in the chair and making herself comfortable.

"He did. And I understand." She tells me, looking at Angel with a smile, and I'm glad that she doesn't push it. "You know that they are going to miss you." She laughs softly, gesturing to Angel and Shadow. I smile as well, looking down at Shadow, who was now fully leaning against my shoulder and desperately trying to stay awake.

"Yea me too" I mumble back, stroking her blond hair softly. She mumbles slightly and snuggles closer to me.

"Still, you have the other April" April said with a grin, and I give her a dubious look.

"You're suggesting your own _17 year old_ counterpart to get pregnant?" I ask mockingly, emphasising the age.

April snickers. "Maybe not. But who knows, maybe in a few years." She shakes her head, laughing at herself. "I feel like a worried parent, but tell her to wait for the right one. And tell her to stay open-minded. I never thought I'd marry Casey, or even like him in the first place."

"Are you talking about Casey or Donnie..?" I ask, not really serious but still quite interested what she had to say about the whole 'April, Casey and Don' thing. I had told her after all, how Don had a crush on April, and Casey as well. But so far, she hasn't given her opinion.

"Not every dimension is similar Mikey, remember that" She smiles, giving me a playful wink.

I snicker. "We're not talking about April anymore, aren't we?"

"I wouldn't know" She laughs, clearly enjoying the conversation. But somehow it was clear that she was talking about both. Both April's decision, and me being able to prevent _this_ from happening.

And I want to reply again, to continue the conversation but suddenly I can sense something, immediately my body stiffens and my eyes scan the apartment rapidly.

"Sorry" A whisper comes from the staircase. I immediately turn towards the source of the sound, frowning as I see Michelangelo standing there.

"Sorry that I didn't join dinner.. I just…" He stops, looking down at his feet. He looks ashamed, out of place and uncomfortable. And I feel bad, bad for him feeling that way. April smiles sadly.

"You're here now.. the guys won't be back for another 2 hours." She whispers, pausing for a second. "There's always a place for you Michelangelo." The latter looks up, uncertainty in his eyes but he doesn't move.

"Hey hon" I whisper softly in Shadow's ears. She blinks softly, looking at me with confusion in her tired eyes. "Uncle Mikey is here. Do you want him to put you to bed?" Despite the tiredness in her eyes she seems to brighten at the comment. While Michelangelo had seen Shadow countless times, Shadow had rarely seen Mikey.

She nods and slides off the couch, making her way towards Michelangelo. The latter seems confused as Shadow walks up to him, tensing significantly and looking over to me. I give him an encouraging nod, one he does not return. But at least he doesn't non-verbally threaten to kill me, so I call it a win. Instead he bends down carefully and picks Shadow up.

"Story?" Shadow asks hopefully as they start walking towards her room and Michelangelo snorts.

"Brat"

The tiny bit of happiness present in his voice. Not to mention the squeal-like laugh Shadow lets out.


	13. Chapter 13

Okay I'm terribly sorry for the late update. It's been way too long. And I'm so sorry for that. But I've been busy with school and on top of that I injured my hand while playing hockey. Apparently some tendons snapped or something, it's been swelling for like 3 weeks, and I still can't bend my finger :))))

But on the other hand, I have been working on my next story and that'll be posted pretty soon. For now, enjoy the last chapter!

TMNT

 _4 weeks ago_

"Do you think he's regretting his decision?" Raph's voice sounds from the other side of the room, breaking the silence, still it didn't startle me.

"Honestly, I don't know. He seemed okay the last couple of days" Donnie answers.

"You guys know I can hear you right?" I snicker, still not taking my eyes off the window. It was rather cliché actually, depressed or sad character sitting next to a window and watching the rain. But that was exactly what I was doing right now. Skip the sad/depressed part thought, I just needed some time to think right now.

And if it had to be a cliché window, so be it.

The guys and Casey had just gotten back from their patrol, so I was expecting one of them to look for me very soon actually. Though my ankle had already healed from the fight with Michelangelo, Leo thought it'd be too much of a strain to let me out on patrol tonight. Especially since I was having some trouble keeping up with training. But my ankle was totally not the one to blame.

Leo just didn't think I could handle their patrol, because I wasn't 'trained' enough in his eyes. Pun not intended.

"You alright?" Don questions after a somewhat awkward silence on their part.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I ask, I truly didn't feel bad or anything. Not the best I've ever felt, but I didn't feel bad. Though I understood why they questioned it.

"You seem rather melancholic looking out of the window like that"

"Can't a guy have an off-day?" I smirk, looking at them. "But honestly guys, I'm fine.. just thinking"

"Yer decision to stay here?" Raph cuts in, sitting on the bed that was in the guest room.

"I'm not regretting it Raph, I really want this. It's just.. hard y'know.. I still miss them.." I bite my lip softly, looking back at the window again. Just a little over two weeks it had been… since I got separated from my own family, and gained a totally new one. But it's what they always said, no movie is as good as the original.

No matter how much I grew to love this family, I wanted to go back to mine. But I wasn't ready yet.

"We understand, but just remember why you made this decision." Donnie says, sitting down as well, a little closer than Raph was. I flash him a smile before turning back to the window once again.

"Did your Mikey do this? Take some time off every once in a while."

There was a silence, and that silence already answered my question. They noticed _after_ everything happened to them, after Don got kidnapped, after Mikey lost his arm. Which meant they never knew it when everything was still 'normal'. They hadn't known.

"Yea.. neither does my family" I breathe out. "But even the clown in the family needs some time to think"

"Yer not a clown" Raph frowns, annoyance in his voice, directed to my own family, and maybe even to himself. Because it's the same situation, he didn't notice, and neither did my family.

"And there's nothing wrong with being scared Mikey, we understand that as well. They'll like you"

 _Damn…_

I laugh, shaking my head with a grin plastered on my face.

"It's scary how you figure those things out. Really scary" I point out.

"Well after 18 years of not noticing anything.." Don mumbles but cuts himself off midsentence and my smile fades slowly.

 _Guess I wasn't the only one that needed help_.

TMNT

Present

"Can't believe I'm already missing you already mini mouse" Don grins, my fist bumping with his. I grin up at him.

"Hey, can't help it that my dimension created us small, or like regular teenagers." I retort. "And you guys are 21 years old! No fair to compare like that" I fake pout, earning a chuckle from the purple cladded bandana.

"But yea, I'm gonna miss you too Brainiac. And thanks for everything you've done"

"Thanks" He smiles, wrapping his arms around me and crushing me into a hug. "And thanks for everything you've done" He whispers in my ear before releasing me, albeit reluctantly. He looks up, giving me another nod before stepping back. It was kinda ironic actually. It's been 8 days since the dinner, definitely no stalling on my part, and we've had enough time to say goodbye.

And we had already, several times, but right now we couldn't just.. not do it y'know?

"What Don said, I'm gonna miss ya face around Mikey, even if yer annoying as hell" Raph grins, pulling into a side-hug, one of the rare hugs he had given me. But Raph's hugs were very rare to begin with so I smiled, knowing that I'd done something right to earn one of them.

"Same here, and thanks for everything. I know I'm saying that to everyone.. but I mean it" I laugh, rubbing my neck awkwardly.

"Don't worry too much" Raph smirks, bumping my shoulder with his fist. "Just be yerself, yer not that annoying. And you can kick some ass."

"Thanks Raph" I smile up to him, turning my attention to April, who was sitting with Shadow on her lap. Once her eyes locked with mine she whispered something in Shadow's ears, which made the latter jump off her mom's lap, and made her run towards me.

"Hey little girl" I grin, picking her up and placing her on my hip. Though unlike all the other times I've held her she doesn't laugh, instead she buries her face in the crook of my neck.

"I'm gonna miss you Mikey" She mumbles against my skin and I smile sadly, stroking her blond hair softly.

"Me too, me too" I agree with her, holding her as close as I could.

"So will I. You're an awesome dude. Your family will love you" Casey butts in, bumping fists in the same manner as Don and Raph had done. I grin up to him before turning my attention to April.

"I wish this was some kind of movie, or series. Where these problems are mostly completely solved when they end.. but unfortunately that's not the case here" April starts, putting a hand on my shoulder. "But Mikey…you've changed so much already while still staying true to who you are. I know you will get there eventually."

She carefully wraps her arms around me, including Shadow into the hug as well. Our hug lasts longer than the one with the others, but I guess that's just how men are. And April wasn't like a brother or a sister to me, like the guys or even Casey were. Obviously it didn't apply to Shadow and Angel but.. April was like the mother I never had.

Which was actually really creepy since my April was undoubtedly an older sister to us.

"I will miss you, we all will." She whispers before untangling herself from the hug. Tears are threatening to come up and for once I don't bother trying to hold them back.

"Love you uncle Mikey" Shadow whispers, knowing it's time to let go.

"Love you too little girl" I whisper back, planting a kiss on her temple before April takes her from me. Shadow waves sadly at me and I return the favour.

"Michelangelo" Leo calls out, walking over to me and I give him a broad smile, wrapping my arms around him before he can do anything.

"I'm gonna miss you Leo." I mumble, tears finally flowing down my face. Each member meant I was getting closer to leaving them, to never seeing them again. And yea, it made me sad. And no, I wasn't ashamed of crying right now. Leo seems startled for a split-second before he wraps his arms around me as well.

"I will miss you too otouto" He whispers back and I laugh through the few tears. Otouto, little brother, family. "Just remember that they'll love you okay? I am sure they will. But give them time to adjust to the new you. But they _will_ love you, no matter what." He says to me and I laugh again.

"I know dude, you've told me like a hundred times" Didn't mean I loved hearing it, something about Leo always made me calm down, made me believe things would actually work out.

"Anything to get through your big skull" Leo teases.

"Rude" I pout, untangling from the hug once again. Donnie then steps up to me, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Ready to go home?" He asks me, giving me a smile, but I could see the sadness that was lingering in his eyes.

"Not yet" I tell him, turning towards April and Casey. "Can I see Angel real quick? I know she's asleep and won't remember me… but.." Before I can finish my sentence Casey gestures to the stairs, a satisfied grin on his face.

"Thanks dude" I breathe out, walking up the stairs and dash into Angel's room without making a sound. I smirk slightly, guess training was slowly making itself present. I smile at the pictures hanging around the room, none of them including the guys but I knew they were hidden away. Of course they had to be. Couldn't've someone walking into the room and seeing them.

Quickly I walked towards the crib where Angel was sleeping.

"Hey little girl" I whisper, looking down at the sleeping form of Angel. I wasn't afraid of waking her up, Angel was a heavy sleeper, and it took more than some touches and voices to wake her up. Hunger mostly did it though. _Priorities_.

"I guess I should feel relieved that yer leaving, rather than being sad" A sudden voice calls out softly. I quickly turn around, my blue eyes taking in the appearance of Michelangelo. He's leaning against the doorway, staring at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"Something tells me it's a bit of both"

Michelangelo snorts. "I wish" He doesn't move, his body rigid. "My mind decides to fuck with me again by not making me feel any joy, guess I still have enough sanity to know when something's not someone's fault"

".. What?" I ask, giving him a dubious look.

"Imagine it as you trying something really hard, and someone comes in without a care and ruins all your work." He says, kicking himself off the wall. "Don't be fooled, I still don't like you." With that he walks away, and I can't help but to smirk.

A little scary to see him resemble Raph like that, unable to express his thoughts and emotions like that. But I knew exactly what he was trying to say. Me ruining everything he strived to change, me being the old him, and him blaming me for that, but knowing that wasn't fair to do so. It wasn't fair blaming me for everything I was doing.

And it was Michelangelo's way of apologising.

 _Guess I really did something right_.

TMNT

"You ready?" Don asks and I nod determined, biting back the slightly discomfort. "Okay, here goes nothing" With that he pushes the button, filling up the whole basement with a bright purple/pink light. I blink, spots dancing in front of me from the sudden explosion of light.

"It worked!" I vaguely heard but I could only focus on the portal in front of me. My way home..

"Unfortunately it's a one-way ticket, but at least you can go home" Don says, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you guys, really.. you've done so much. I.. thank you"

"Not like I want ya gone, but please just go already" Raph calls out and I smirk.

"I will miss you guys" I call out before stepping through the portal.

"Same" Is the last thing I hear Don say before I literally get sucked into the portal.

 _This time… this time they didn't have to pay._ Plays through my head, just like it did 44 days ago. Back then I still believed it, right now it wasn't anything like that.

Still it didn't change the experience of being sucked into the portal. Pain was the first thing that followed. Exhaustion and electrocution combined. My body went limp, numbness spreading through my body as I was lunged through the portal. From the last time I knew that I couldn't hold onto anything, and yet I still tried.

My thoughts scrambled to bits and I blindly flailed, trying to grab something, anything. But just like last time there was nothing to hold onto, and I was only sucked into the portal more and more. Only for it to stop suddenly. My body was still numb but I wasn't moving anymore. I wasn't inside the portal anymore, and my eyes widened in shock.

Immediately I recognised it, home.

"Guys?" I softly called out, scrambling to my feet. I swayed a little at first but I managed to stand rather quickly. I looked around, taking in the familiar open space of the living room. There is no response. I frown slightly, before I hear a sound coming from the dojo. I can't help the smile that is now on my face as I run over to the dojo.

"Chichi!" I cry out, running towards my father and wrapping my arms around him.

"Michelangelo.." He breathes out, obviously startled by my sudden appearance. But I don't care, I don't care about anything right now, just the fact that I'm finally home right now. And apparently he doesn't care that I interrupted his meditation session, as he wraps his arms around me as well.

"My son, you have returned" He speaks up, looking me in the eyes. I smile, nodding.

"Yea, and I have a lot to tell you." I spoke softly before hugging him once again.

TMNT

So.. this is officially the end of the story. I played around with the idea of continuing this but I actually like this ending. Maybe a short epilogue if enough people want but other than that it's the end.

I just want to thank everyone for following and reviewing, you mean the world to me ^^

And please consider checking my new story out. It'll probably be called 'Scattered' (Still not sure lol) and it's Mikey-centric (surprise) & Raph-centric. It'll probably be out next weekend.


	14. Chapter 14

So this has been.. how long? 10 months or so? I don't even know why this took me so long to complete, I just didn't know what to write to be honest. But finals is a great motivation to start writing and I promised I would do an epilogue and someone even requested it on my request story thingy (Which I still have to update, oops), so I hope you all enjoy the last chapter/epilogue to a story you hopefully remember xD Enjoy!

TMNT

"Don?" I hear Leo ask when he walks into the lab, I hum at the call, acknowledging him but not turning around yet, focused on the technology that was below me. "Have you noticed Mikey acting strangely?"

"What do you mean?" I ask, frowning and stopping my movement but not yet turning around to face him. Leo sighs, walking up to me and leaning against the table with his arms crossed and looking at me.

"He's not acting like himself, I thought he'd be jumping around the lair once he got back, or ramble about his adventures but…"

"He hasn't" I finish and Leo nods and I sigh. "He hasn't told me anything either these last 2 days, but I think something happened to him when he was gone, he had been gone for 44 days after all, there are new scars on his body as well.. maybe someone.."

"No Don" Leo immediately cuts me off. "And not just because I don't want to think about Mikey going through that… it's just.. he wasn't tortured Don, you can see it in his eyes, something else is bothering him."

"I don't know either Leo… I was so relieved when he was in the dojo with dad when we came back from patrol but.. he wasn't Mikey… and he has ignored us for two days now, changing the subject whenever we asked about what happened" I frown, feeling tears stubbornly burning in my eyes.

Leo lowers his arms, walking up to me with a saddened expression and placing a hand on my shoulder. He doesn't say anything however, but the thought behind the hand was enough for me, that we'd get through this together, as a family.

And the most important part was that Mikey was home with us again, safe.

TMNT

"I must admit Michelangelo, I am rather surprised to see you meditating again" Dad announces and I crack an eye open, grinning at him before closing my eye again. After a few seconds I sigh, knowing meditating wasn't going to be a success anymore now dad was in the same room.

I sigh again, opening my eyes and looking at him. "What was it like when I was gone?" I ask, looking at dad. He flinches slightly at the question but composes himself rather quickly, looking at me with a saddened expression.

"Heartbreaking" He confesses, walking over to me and sitting down in front of me. "The worst feeling of a father is losing a child, and I lost you without knowing your well-being or if you were safe" I look down in shame, but I knew this already, I knew that I put them through pain by staying with the others.

 _Did I?_

Did I really, truly, believe that they'd miss me like I hoped?

"I'm sorry for staying away so long" I whisper and Dad softens again.

"My son, whether you are ready to tell me or not, I trust your judgement, and your choice of staying."

"You received the note didn't you?" I ask and he nods, turning his head towards the shrine. Next to his family picture, and a picture of us amongst other things, was the note. I stood up slowly, popping my joints after sitting still for a while and walking over to it.

Dad didn't say anything as I grabbed the note, slowly unfolding it and reading it again. I smile, still remembering that day, the day I wrote that note. When Don was almost ready with building the portal so I could come home.

 _Hey guys, I know you're probably worried and all but I'm fine. I'll tell you everything once I get back, and I will, it will just take a little while. But I'm okay, and I found a place to stay so don't worry 'kay? I miss you guys, be back soon._

 _Love, Mikey._

I grin at the note. "How worried were you when you got this note?" At this question dad chuckles lightly.

"I was doubtful it this were truly yours I must admit" He says and I nod, turning around and folding the note again. "But the moment you had returned to me these doubts were gone" I frown slightly, looking at him.

"How come?"

"The way you wrote that note, it was not you my son. I was doubtful, and only your handwriting made me somehow believe that it was truly you. When you returned two days ago I immediately noticed you had changed" I stiffen at the mention, silently and slowly turning around and putting the note away.

After a few seconds I turn around again, watching dad but I don't say anything.

"Your aura has changed, you are calmer and yet more conflicted than ever, or more evidently conflicted" Again I flinch at the mention. My heart was beating loudly against my plastron at the confrontation.

"My son, you do not have to tell me if you are not ready" Da hastily added, walking up to me and wrapping his arms around. I melt in the hug, burying my face in his chest and willing the tears to stop threatening to spill.

"I want to tell you dad" I mumble and dad tightens his arms slightly. "I need to figure something out first okay? I promise I'm okay"

"Of course Michelangelo" Dad says sincerely, pulling out of the hug. "Can you tell me one thing however?" I look at him with a strange expression but I nod hesitantly.

"Did you decide for yourself to stay? Did no one force you and were you safe?" I smile at the memory and I chuckle slightly.

"It was my decision dad.. besides the guys were ready to sent me back, especially…" I stop myself, dread filling me and taking a step backwards.

"Whom are you speaking of?" Dad frowns but I shake my head.

"Shouldn't've said that.. no one" I mumble but dad wouldn't budge. "Dad please, it's not like that. They were good guys.. just a bit damaged emotionally, they never… " Again I stop myself, _they never hurt me_ I had wanted to say but that would be a lie, a terrible lie that dad would've seen.

They did hurt me, emotionally and physically.

Don by bruising my wrist and dragging me through the sewers, Leo by almost killing me and slicing my neck, Michelangelo by attacking me, bruising my ribs, wrecking my ankle and slicing my hand. At the thought I cradle my hand, running along the faint line that used to be the wound.

Now a light green scar, barely noticeable.

"They hurt you?" Dad narrows his eyes at me, glaring, but I knew that the glare wasn't for me. And yet, ironically enough it was, the glare was for Michelangelo, and his brothers, my brothers.. _This is too confusing_.

"They did but they didn't mean it!" I exclaim, holding up my arms.

"My sons.." He says slowly. "Something is bothering you, I can both sense and see this.. I just want to assure myself that you were not hurt by humans" I stiffen at the thought, clearly remembering the stories dad had told us.

"They weren't human" I mumble and Dad relaxes slightly, still rigid however. "One of them attacked me because he thought I was hurting his family… he roughed me up a bit but not much" I admit.

"On your eleventh day?" I blink at the question, overwhelmed by the sudden confession.

"How did you know?" I ask, the eleventh day I was in that other dimension I asked Michelangelo to fight me, and he roughed me up, yes, but how did dad know?

"I sensed you that day, you were in pain" He admits, worry all too evident in his eyes. I fidget slightly, unsure what to answer exactly.

"Yea.. I kinda challenged him that day" I mumble, opting to go for the truth instead.. or at least, part of the truth.

Dad frowns at the statement but takes a deep breath instead. "I will judge you have done what is right for now, However I want you to know that you can come to speak to me any time you need it"

I nod, smiling brightly at him and stepping forwards, hugging him again. "I will tell soon, promise" I whisper, loud enough for him to hear it.

TMNT

The silence was almost unbearable, and it was only for the fact that these last 46 days we haven't patrolled with Mikey.. that we got used to the silence. We just weren't used to the silence when Mikey was on patrol as well. I looked over at him, seeing him with narrowed, white, eyes and staring below him.

He was still, not fidgeting and not saying anything… what we always wanted him to be.

I feel someone touch my arm and I look up, looking at Don. "He's quiet" He whispers, so Mikey wouldn't hear it, he was too far away after all, Raph and Mikey both on the other side of the street.

"I know, I don't like it" I whisper, glancing at the other side worriedly. I wince slightly as I catch Raph's eyes, green ones meeting mine, but Mikey stays focused on the street below him. A few cars passed and he watched them like a hawk, muscled rigid and ready to bolt any second.

"No time to think about that now" Raph hisses in my ear piece all of a sudden, pointing at the van from the other side of the roof.

"Get ready to jump guys" I order, crouching down and grabbing my grappling hook. Mikey however doesn't move, already ready the whole time to move. "Now" And with that signal we jump down, using the building and the grappling hooks to swing us on top of the van.

"Turtles!" Rahzar growls, jerking the steering wheel to the side. I grit my teeth at the sudden movement, jamming my sword into the van to avoid flying off the van. Raph had punched his sai through the van as well, holding onto both the sai and Don, and Mikey was.. crawling towards the wheel.

Rahzar growled, jerking the wheel again and Mikey let out a yell, losing his grip on the van. I quickly reach out my arm, catching his and forcing him onto the van again.

"Thanks" He breathes and I frown slightly, his arm was bigger than I remembered… he buffed up in the 44 days he was away. Immediately he narrows his eyes again, gritting his teeth and holding onto the van as it came to a sudden stop. I looked around, _So Don was right to assume they were going to the docks._

Immediately foot bots encircled us, including Rahzar and Fish Face.

"Oh I see the little one has returned" Fish Face snickers, watching Mikey.

"Act smug while you still can Fish Face" Mikey glares and I wince slightly again, he just wasn't acting like Mikey. Fish Face in return glared, readying his knife.

"Foot Bots, attack!" Rahzar snarled, setting the foot bots in motion. I narrowed my eyes, drawing my swords and rushing into the battle. There were numerous foot bots but admittedly they weren't as much of a threat as they were in the beginning, it was just the sheer number that made it difficult.

I wince as claws scrape my arm.

 _Oh and Rahzar and Fish Face joining the fight._

"You're sloppy" Rahzar snickered, swiping his claws at me again but I block them with my sword, delivering a kick but he got right back to his feet again. He roared, snickering as another foot bot attacked me, distracted he threw himself at me again, delivering a harsh kick to my plastron.

I let out a breath, landing on my shell with a loud thud. Rahzar snickers, standing mere centimetres away from me and ready to strike.

"Oh no you don't you ugly dog!" Mikey cried out, delivering a kick to Rahzar's face, twisting his nun chuck mid air after delivering the kick and the weapon connecting with his stomach. I blink, I had no idea Mikey could do that.

I shake my head, immediately getting up and charging back to Mikey again but he shakes his head.

"I got this Leo, go help Don!" He cries, blocking another attack from Rahzar and wrapping his chain around the paw, flipping over the mutant. I glance backwards, slicing two heads off before they could attack. Don and Raph were fighting a few metres away, battling both Fish Face and the foot bots.

Before I could make my mind up whether to leave Mikey however, a cry resonated from my youngest brother. Specks of blood flew through the air and Mikey stumbled backwards, holding his arm with alarmingly wide eyes.

Rahzar snickers, blood dripping from his claws. "Your fighting skills are worse than before" Rahzar snickers to all four of us, not just Mikey in particular, and yet especially Mikey in particular. And instead of verbally replying, Mikey drops his arm to the side, letting the blood flow without trying to stop it.

Then without warning he jumped at Rahzar again with a cry, and I ran after him. Mikey moved with speed I didn't know he possessed, he was the fastest out of us but never the fastest whilst attacking, and right now he seemed to be so much faster, did he just fight like this as well?

Rahzar didn't seemed very fazed, a dead giveaway that Mikey had fought like this.

"Leo!" Don screamed but I grit my teeth, landing a hit on Rahzar before he kicked Mikey away. The latter didn't even groan in pain, flipping backwards and trying to land on his hands but his injured arm gave way and he rolled onto his side, still gracefully flipping onto his feet again.

I groan as a punch connects to my beak, and I blindly lash out with my sword, causing Rahzar to jump backwards.

"Kōtai" Don screamed at the two of us, and I look backwards, seeing Don and Raph already ready to throw a smoke bomb to retreat, case in Don's hands. I narrow my eyes, throwing a tanto and running over to Mikey who was ready to attack again.

"Kōtai" I whisper with a glare and he looks at me, almost scowling at the command to retreat but he dug into his belt, throwing the smoke bomb onto the ground and within seconds we were onto the building, running away from the docks.

TMNT

"What happened out there! We had 'em!" Raph growled, wincing in pain as Don pulled another stitch through the cut on his thigh. He growled, putting the ice pack against his head again. I sigh, ignoring my own throbbing beak and focusing on the wound on Mikey's arm, carefully stitching it.

"We got the case didn't we?" Mikey mumbles, popping the joints in one hand. I glance at Don, who looked right back at me, and I hoped he understood what I was trying to say.

"Mikey's right, besides we haven't worked together as a team for over 6 weeks, we were bound to be a bit rusty" Don shrugs, closing the last stitch and wrapping Raph's thigh with a bandage. "Come on, dad asked me to fill him in when we got back, and he probably knows you're injured so you're coming with" Don said, grabbing Raph's wrist.

"It's barely a scratch brainiac" Raph glares at Don, but reluctantly allowed Don to carry part of his weight by throwing an arm over Don's shoulder.

I sigh, hoping it wouldn't be too obvious that Don was going to fill in dad about what happened. It wasn't uncommon for either of them to do so, but still.. it was mostly me who talked to dad about the mission like this.

"You know you can talk to me right?" I ask him as I pull another stitch through his arm, he doesn't visibly react at all even if all he had was some numbing spray.

He doesn't react to me, only shielding his face from me.

"You seemed really angry today, during the fight with Rahzar, especially after he hurt you" I continue, trying to catch his eyes. "Why?" I try to keep my voice down, willing him to tell me what was bothering him.

Another stitch, and Mikey didn't talk, didn't say anything. He was watching the wound I was slowly closing, not bothered by the blood at all and strangely calm about being injured. Mostly he would be making a fuss about probably dying from a minor injury, granted this wasn't minor, but it certainly wasn't fatal either.

"I knew it wasn't going to be easy" He whispers, looking into my eyes for the first time this night. "I just thought… it was going to be less difficult. But I c-can't Leo.. I just can't do this" He sobs slightly but refuses to let the tears appear, rubbing his eyes furiously.

"What do you mean Mikey?" I whisper softly and he opens his eyes again.

"I wasn't sent to another planet" He admits and I lean back slightly. "It was another earth, different people… " He stops for a second and I allow him to compose himself, knowing interrupting would only do bad right now.

"A … family took me in, cared for me but they were emotionally damaged from something that happened.. one guy especially" I frown slightly, was this the same family that hurt him? "He hated me because I understood him, I understood what he was feeling and why he was so upset, and why his family was upset with him" I wince slightly at the mention.

Family… family should never feel that way about each other, like Mikey was describing. He wasn't using the direct words but I knew what he was implying, the family hated whatever boy or man they were talking about, hating their own flesh and blood.

"And it made me realise something because.. something bad happened to his family because of him. His family blamed him for that, but they didn't understand him, why he did it. And the guy accepted the blame, but I wouldn't allow it.. the family didn't understand his reasons."

"How did you?" I whisper and I freeze as Mikey looks at me with tears streaming down his face.

"It wasn't just another earth Leo.. it was a parallel dimension. April was there.. Casey.. dad.." He stops, taking a shuddering breath and I can feel my blood run cold. "I understood because it was me, he was me" I shudder, wide eyes staring at my little brother. He couldn't… he couldn't really…

Could he?

"Little bro.." I whisper and he looks away. "Why are you telling me this now? I want to hug you but.." I stop myself and Mikey let's out a dry laugh, looking at his arm that I was still stitching up.

"You have the worst humour Leo" He whispers. "Cat's out of the bag now I guess, can you finish the stitching and I will finish the story, 'kay?" I keep looking for a few seconds, squeezing his hand softly.

"Only if you're ready" I insist and he nods, wiping the tears from his eyes. A little shook still I continue the stitching, willing myself to finish as quickly as possible.

"When I jumped into that portal all those weeks ago I landed in the sewers…" He starts.

He continues to tell me about meeting an alternative Don, him dragging him through the sewers to their lair where I, my alternative me, tried to kill him. He told me about the other Raph's eye, my blindness, Michelangelo's arm, Donnie's mental health. And he talked about the resemblance to Michelangelo.

The goofball of the family, the worst ninja in the family, the hyperactive one, never allowed to show true emotions like anger or sadness, and it eventually cost his family.. and Michelangelo was just like Mikey. We were oppressing him just as much as Michelangelo's family was.

"I had no idea Mikey" I whisper, placing a hand on top of his now bandaged arm. "You were trying to prove yourself tonight?" He shrugs.

"Not really I guess" He mumbles. "I.. I stayed with the guys for another month because over there I didn't have to be the goofball, they didn't expect me to y'know? So it was easy to mature, and train and not hold back.. but here.. I heard you talking.. I know you think it's weird that I'm not acting like myself, and I know that that's the reason today went to horrible"

"Mikey that's not-" I try to protest but Mikey shakes his head.

"Face it Leo, we've all been out of commission for a month or so, a stab wound, broken bones, we've all been there. And we never had so much trouble getting out there with all four of us again. You were thrown off-balance because I wasn't joking around" He shudders again.

"I'm not going to pretend I have a vital part in this equation because I don't.. we were not working as a team because I was different today. You've always had me joking, lighting the mood and me drawing attention to myself from both you and the villains, you've always had to look out for me and I knew you did, so I stayed in a spot you could easily see me.. now however.."

"You weren't joking so none of the villains were distracted, and you were moving around so much that we couldn't keep tabs on you, and we got distracted as well, while the villains didn't" Mikey nods at my sentence. "Mikey.. you should've told us" But instead Mikey glares at me, slapping my hand away.

"I didn't want to tell you because of this! I wanted to change, slowly so you could get used to it! It just wasn't working and .. and I…" He stops himself, burying his face in his hands.

"You don't know what to do" I finish and he looks up, suddenly moving forwards and wrapping his arms around me.

"I don't know what to do Leo… you want me to be someone I'm not.. I don't want to be the goofball.. that's not me but you guys.. you're always so down when I'm not joking, or fighting with each other if you're not angry at me-" I cut him off by shoving his face into my shoulder, tightening my hold on him.

"I am so sorry little bro, so sorry we did this to you, we were wrong and we're gonna make this up to you, I promise" As a reply Mikey tightens his arms, shuddering and letting his tears fall soon after, wetting my shoulder.

TMNT

"How i-" I glare at Raph as he walks over to me as I walk into the living room, shushing him and gesturing to the sleeping turtle in my arms. Raph's expression changes immediately, taking a hesitant step forwards, focused on the dried tear tracks that were on his face.

"He's okay.. he told me everything" I admit and Raph looks at me with a confused expression. "He asked me to tell you, he didn't want to do that again so get Don and dad to the living room okay? I'm going to put Mikey in bed, he's exhausted"

"Sure thing" Raph mumbles, walking towards the dojo to do as I just instructed. I quickly placed Mikey in bed, pulling the blanket up to his chest and lingering for a few seconds.

"I promise we will make it up to you otouto" I whisper, reluctantly leaving him. I knew it was stupid, he wasn't critically injured, it was just a wound that needed stitches, he wasn't dying, he wasn't in extreme pain.. But he was emotionally damaged, emotionally hurt right now by the whole situation.

It was painful for me to retell the whole story to Raph, Don and dad, especially dad. Painful for me to explain what dad sensed on the eleventh day, the fight he engaged with his counterpart, Michelangelo. But especially how Mikey knew how Michelangelo felt, because he was still there.

"We're gonna have to change" Don speaks up after a long silence. "Maybe no patrol for a while.. we need to help Mikey right now"

"I do agree with Donatello, your brother is troubled and we have been neglecting him for far too long. We need to work on this as a family" Dad adds, watching me.

"But how dad?" I mumble, taking a shuddering breath. "We couldn't function out there.. we… why didn't I realise how unhappy he was? Why didn't I notice?"

"Leo ya can't blame yerself for this, he hid it too well" Raph whispers, equally as disturbed as the rest was. And yet, I didn't act upon it.

"We should've seen it Raph! He kept away from us for a month because he felt like he couldn't be himself here!" I cry, feeling tears stream down my face. "I heard him sneak out sometimes, he always avoided me, said he was going for a run.. He wasn't okay?! He needed some time away from us, to cry, to be angry, to be himself"

"We fucked up" Raph mumbles, staring at me with tears in his eyes. "But we know now, and we're gonna help that shell for brains"

TMNT

Splinter smiled fondly as he watched his sons spar with each other. It had been 8 months since his youngest son had returned home, and the family was still slowly piecing itself together but was almost completely finished. Only a few pieces were still in the wrong place.

"Looks like it's you and me again bro" Mikey grins, readying his weapon and standing in front of Leo. Raph and Don were sitting next to Splinter, having just lost from Mikey and Leo respectively.

"May the best ninja win" Leo retorted with a smirk as well and Mikey narrowed his eyes, the smile fully disappearing and crouching down.

"Hajime!" Splinter announced and Leo charged at his little brother, striking his katana. Mikey quickly rolled out of the way, using his hands to catapult himself onto his feet again. The silence that ensued the fight, especially the lack of jokes coming from Mikey, would've thrown them off-balance 8 months ago.

But now it was normal to them.

They both stayed silent, and Leo charged again, swinging his sword and dropping low to sweep his leg under Mikey's, but the latter quickly jumped away. Leo swung the other leg as well, connecting with Mikey's side and sending his little brother to the side, who used his shell to roll over the ground.

Leo charged again but this time Mikey quickly deflected the sword and wrapping his chucks around Leo's striking wrist, swinging him around and throwing him over his shoulder. Leo jerked his arm back, causing Mikey to let go of his chuck, and allowing the chain to unwrap itself.

But as he did so Mikey struck out again, grabbing Leo's other wrist and sending a kick to his plastron.

The kick forced a groan from Leo's lips and the pressure on his wrist caused Leo to drop his sword, the weapon quickly snatched from the ground by Mikey. As the orange masked turtle let go of Leo's wrist the latter kicked backwards, landing a few metres away from the youngest.

Effortless Mikey spun the sword around in his hand, almost taunting Leo to get his sword back, but his eyes were focused on his own nunchuck in Leo's hand. This time Mikey ran towards his older brother, jumping and striking his nunchuck but Leo ducked, causing Mikey to miss and roll over his arm and jump back on his feet again.

Immediately both brother charged, clashing weapons as Leo wrapped the nunchuck around his own weapon. Mikey gritted his teeth, kicking out his feet, causing Leo to stumble backwards and Mikey used that hesitation to continue the kick through his other foot, ripping the weapon from Leo's hands.

Without hesitation Leo struck again but Mikey dodged it quickly, seemingly without effort and too quick to see. His shell arched and Leo glanced at the spot where Mikey was right now. The only thing he saw was Mikey's grin as he struck again, hitting Mikey but he recovered quickly, dropping low and swiping Leo's feet from under him.

Mikey jumped onto Leo but the leader quickly rolled out of the way but wasn't prepared for the tanto Mikey grabbed from his belt, pinning Leo's wrist down with precision, only pinning down the wrist guard, just like Michelangelo had done to him all those months ago.

Without losing focus Mikey flipped onto his feet again, twirling the sword and pointing it at Leo's neck. The leader looks up with an almost pained expression before Mikey grins, taking the weapon away and ripping the tanto from the wrist guard.

"I won" Mikey beamed, helping his older brother up and Leo smiled.

"Well done Mikey" He said sincerely, his face beaming as well as he looked at his little brother with pride he didn't know he possessed.

"Well done indeed my sons" Splinter said as both brothers walked over to him, sitting down in front of him. "Training is over for today" He announces and the brothers nod, standing up.

"Dibs on the shower!" Mikey screamed with a laugh, bouncing off the ground.

"The hell" Raph growled, sprinting after his little brother to get to the shower. Leo and Don both looked at each other, smiling but shaking their head in disapproval.

"You would think they would act more mature" Don snickers and Leo beams at the statement, walking over to the living room as they waited for their turn in the shower.

"Who do you prefer?" Leo suddenly asks, looking at his younger brother. Don frowned at the question, sitting down on the couch with a confused look on his face until he realised what Leo was referring to… the old Mikey or the new one. He looked down slightly.

"I used to prefer the old one, Mikey used to be so happy and laughing all the time"

"But that was pretend half the time" Leo filled in and Don nods.

"It was, and it was some getting used to him not joking around every time but I .. I mean I love Mikey no matter what, but I think I prefer this one." He scratches his neck slightly. "Not only because he's truly happy right now but also because he's serious when he's fighting, he's taking training seriously and he even helps me from time to time"

At the comment Leo chuckles slightly.

"I still can't believe he hid it from us this long and this well" Leo announces, a weird sad expression on his face. "He always picked up on the kata's the fastest and somehow he never.. took advantage of that. He always acted dumb and yet he understood everything you talked about.. well almost everything." Don snickers at this but shakes his head.

"You know why Leo" He mumbles, looking at his older brother. "He joked to keep us happy, and pretended to be dumb or a bad ninja to keep us from being jealous, and don't even deny it Leo. We were both jealous when Mikey showed his talents, I saw that look when he defeated you a few months ago for the first time"

"I used to be jealous of him when we were little tots" Leo admits but Don shrugs, already knowing. "I guess that's why Mikey stopped acting upon his talents, he sensed I was jealous and wanted me happy, and we pushed him into the role of a clown"

Don shrugs again. "To be fair, he still is" Don grins and Leo nods, looking at the direction Raph and Mikey had run off to, a faint sound of wrestling heard.

"But he's himself now. His jokes aren't forced anymore, and he doesn't joke about his intelligence anymore. And he's deadly serious during patrol"

Don smiled as a crash is heard through the lair followed by a loud scream of Mikey, followed by a laugh and Mikey comes running into the living room again, Raph hot on his tail. Neither had showered yet as they were still sweaty from the training and tinted red from exhaustion.

"LEEOOO!" Mikey screamed and launched himself onto Leo. "Raph is after me!"

"Why you little!" Raph grinned, launching on top of Mikey as well.

"Wait gu-" Leo screamed but was too late as Raph crashed into both of them, sending him tumbling onto the ground. MIkey grinned down at Leo, the tails of his mask brushing in Leo's face. He had started to wear a slightly longer mask as well after a few months of being back, stating the longer mask looked cooler.

Before either brother could comment on the situation a sudden bright light appeared in the lair. All four snapped their heads to the source, too shocked to react, mouth agape as they watched a figure walk through the portal.

"Geez we aren't interrupting a brotherly moment I hope?" A rough voice called out and a huge grin appeared on Mikey's face.

"Raph!" He screamed, jumping up and sprinting over to the large turtle. "I missed you!" He exclaimed, jumping on top of the red masked turtle like a koala, who caught him with a loud 'oof'.

"A little excited huh mini Mouse?" Another voice called out and Mikey's grin spread as two more figures walked out of the portal.

"Always Don" Mikey smiled, jumping out of Raph's arms and wrapping his arms around the larger Donnie as well, before turning to Leo.

"Your aura is.. really bright" Leo mumbles as Mikey hugs him as well and I grin, a few tears appearing in his eyes.

"I'm happy" He whispers back, feeling tears now streamed down his cheeks. Mikey looked up, slightly confused as another figure walked through the portal.

"If you hug me I'm gone" Michelangelo frowned and Mikey grinned, walking up to him and holding up a fist, Michelangelo stared at the fist for a moment before bumping it with a grin tugging at his lips, a grin he tried to suppress.

"Uncle Mikey!" Another figure squealed and suddenly a set of arms wrapped around him and he immediately wrapped his around the figure to avoid dropping her.

"Shadow! Wow you've grown!" Mikey exclaims, brushing the fair hair out of her face but she latched onto his neck, burying her face in his neck. "Hey April" Mikey continues as April steps through the portal as well. The redhead walks over to Mikey, hugging him quickly as well but Shadow wouldn't let go.

"Mikey?" Another voice cut in and Mikey turns around, looking at his Leo, before looking back at Leonardo.

"Guys, these are.. the guys" Mikey grins. "Uhm full names for big turtles and nicknames for smaller?" Mikey asks and the turtles from the other universe shrugged, silently agreeing while Mikey's brothers were still shocked at the appearance of their counterparts.

"Leo, Leonardo. Raph, Raphael, Don, Donatello. April and Shadow" Mikey introduced them all, knowing fully that no introductions were needed. They knew by the colour of their masks who the others were. And Mikey had told both counterparts about the others already. So the 'smaller' turtles were prepared for the injuries.

Michelangelo's lost arm, Leonardo's blindness, Raphael's eye.

"The lair _is_ smaller" Raphael says, looking around and Mikey grins at the comment.

"Told you" He grins. "Not that I'm complaining but why are you guys here?"

"We wanted to see you again Mikey" Shadow mumbles and Mikey lifts Shadow from his neck, setting her down.

"No particular reason, Don.. ergh Donatello finished another portal, a two way portal" Leonardo says with a shrug. "Is it okay if we stay for the day?" He asks and Mikey beams at the question.

"Of course you can!" He exclaims, looking back at his brothers. "Right guys?" For the first time Leo takes a step forwards, walking up to his youngest brother and standing next to him, as if he was protecting his little brother, challenging anyone that would attack him.

"You have cared for Mikey for 6 weeks, protected him, you are welcome" Leo spoke with a stern tone and Leonardo snickered slightly at the uptight tone of his counterpart but didn't say anything. Shadow was the one who broke the ice by tucking on Leo's hand.

"Are you Mikey's brother?" She asks, blue eyes bright with wonder. Leo looks up at Mikey with a hesitant look but he nodded.

"I am, has Mikey caused a lot of trouble?" Slowly a grin formed on Leo's face and he relaxes slightly as Shadow beams as well, giggling and tucking on Leo's hand again.

"Spare yourself the torture and pick her up bro" Mikey whispers in Leo's ear and Leo hesitates for a moment before crouching down and picking Shadow up. In the meantime Don and Raph had walked up to Mikey as well, glancing at their older and larger counterparts but Michelangelo was the first to move, walking up to Mikey.

Michelangelo grabbed Mikey's arm, jerking him to the side slightly and looking him in the eye.

"Are you messed up?" He asks with concern and Mikey beams.

"Just insane" He shrugs and Michelangelo rolled his eyes, hitting Mikey upside the head. "Wow what happened to you?" Mikey teased, and Michelangelo stared at his counterpart.

"I liked you better when you were serious" He deadpanned, glancing around the lair until his eyes focused on the Japanese walls.

"You love me either way" Mikey grins before noticing the look on Michelangelo's face. He looks at the older counterparts, noticing that they were looking at Michelangelo as well, and probably understanding the look as well. The younger ones didn't catch on, still baffled by the weird relation Mikey seemed to have with every counterpart and especially his own.

Slowly Mikey reached for Michelangelo's arm, the latter jerking his head towards his smaller counterpart, jerking his arm away from him and reaching for a weapon in a split second before he realised that it was just his counterpart. Mikey kept silent and just reached for Michelangelo's arm again.

The taller counterpart frowned but Mikey just tucked on the arm slightly, not saying anything.

Then, reluctantly, Michelangelo started walking with Mikey, allowing the younger counterpart to drag him away. April nodded to Mikey, silently telling him that she would handle the rest and Mikey was free to do whatever he was planning, because she knew Mikey wouldn't just do something.

The younger turtles were admittedly shocked as Mikey dragged Michelangelo over to the dojo, but neither complained, judging Mikey's judgement just as April did.

TMNT

"Dad?" I call out as I walk into the dojo. I look at the tree, seeing dad meditating under it. He carefully opens his eyes, settling on me before.. looking at the figure next to me.

"Michelangelo?" He asks confused and I grin sheepishly.

"We agreed to call us by our nicknames and the others by the full name" I explain. "This is Michelangelo, the one I told you about" I continue and a look of understanding spread on dad's face, and he slowly stood up.

"You're not Master Splinter" Michelangelo voices with a frown and I shake my head with an amused smile.

"I am not your Master Splinter" Dad confirms, walking up to the both of us until there was a small space between us. Dad almost matched Michelangelo's height and it seemed weird for them to be standing in front of each other.

"I am deeply sorry for what has happened" Dad says, the sincerity in his voice.. full of raw emotion for my counterpart, and his own. "You have kept son safe for the time he has been lost to us, helped him grow beyond our capabilities-"

"It seems ya've done a great job" Michelangelo interrupts, but there was no sarcasm in it, the comment was genuine.

"You sense aura's" Dad concluded and Michelangelo shrugs.

"Leo taught us, I picked it up after all the shit went down" _After I caused Donnie to be captured and after I indirectly killed dad_. I added silently in my head, knowing that was what Michelangelo was thinking, something along those lines.

"But you have set us on this path and for that I am eternally grateful" Michelangelo looks up at my dad at the sentence, tensing.

"Thanks dad" He whispers, suddenly stiffening and taking a step back at the title he had just given Master Splinter. My eyes widen as well, looking up at my own counterpart and seeing his eyes wide with fear and sadness, tears welling up.

"Son" Dad whispers after a few seconds, taking a step forwards but Michelangelo responded by taking another step backwards. "No matter what universe, you will always be my son" With that dad wrapped his arms around Michelangelo, bringing him closer.

And it wasn't long before Michelangelo was sobbing.

I smile sadly as the two embraced, father and son and yet, at the same time, it wasn't. But who really cared about technicalities when our families were already messed up? When we were mutant turtles and not normal to begin with.

I smiled sadly at Michelangelo's breakdown and I smiled sadly at the thought that it was Michelangelo's turn to heal after he had set me on the right path to find myself, before I needed healing in the first place.

And I was determined to let him stay as long as he needed, with or without his family.

As long as he needed to stay to heal.

As much as he, and his family, could be healed.


End file.
